Unfortunately, there is no magic wand and maybe it is because you are getting something out of not getting what you want. Come again?
It comes down to strategy. Not only for getting what you want but, and hear me out here, for NOT getting what you want.
Nothing we do does not provide some sort of benefit. If it didn't, we wouldn't do it. People get all prickly when I say this and that's ok. My job is to help people get what they want. This often means helping them recognize that sometimes, the reason they are not getting what they want is because, deep down, there is a payoff or benefit for doing the things they do that get in their way. Simply put, our brains do not do random. It just isn't a thing. Even smokers are taking deep breaths, getting a break from work, socializing or being alone.
Thing is, until you recognize the strategy you are using to get what you don't want, it will be hard to interrupt it and look for other ways to get what you want.
I work with people to identify the strategies they are using that are standing in the way of getting what they want. Those very same people also have great strategies for getting what they want however, they are not always able to recognize the pattern of behaviour associated with getting it. Either way, once the strategy is revealed, it becomes much easier to see where change can happen. And the good news? Often it is a small tweak that changes the whole strategy. That's correct, it doesn't have to be a huge change. In fact, smaller, more sustainable tweaks will build upon each other and ultimately result in bigger changes. The key here is small steps, sustainability and consistency because change is a process.
Getting what you want is recognizing what the benefit of that behaviour is that is getting in your way and finding another more productive way of getting the same result.. There are a few steps involved in getting you there that involve trying things out to see if they work and then trying something else until you figure it out. Its a process. It is possible. Wanting is the first step. If you are clear that you do not want to stay where you are and you don't know what your next step to take may be, then contact me for a ZERO obligation chat. Let's stop you from running away from what you don't want and instead, running towards something you do want.