What can you learn on a "seedy" train ride?

You’d be surprised…

Part of my "pause and reflect" theme for the summer.  Here's another throwback.

I'm having more and more conversations where the theme seems to be the longing for connection, sprinkled with hesitation.  Maybe you can relate? I found this blog from 2018 and thought I'd tweak it and put it out there again for you.  The lessons are still pertinent.  Enjoy!

~~~~

The thing that seems to be coming up again and again?  A deep yearning for actual "connection". The kind you get with actual people: friends, partners, colleagues etc. and not the Instagram/Facebook/Zoom kind. I'm talking the real, flesh and blood kind. Face to face. No distractions. So the question is, when was the last time you were "present" for anyone, yourself included? Until you understand that connection and presence starts with you, yourself, and your situation, you're really not equipped to offer it to others. Connection begins with presence. The ability to be with what is.

Here's an actual experience I had in Italy almost four years ago! 

I'm on a train, travelling from Sorrento to Napoli. I'm on a train and not the fancy kind. Rather, the kind I was warned about prior to my trip. The kind where I was told to bring wipes and sanitizer for my hands. (Such irony here!). Where the AC is opening the windows, and the “advertising” on the walls is graffiti. That kind of train.

I settle into my seat and start to read a book.

Several stops in, a couple of local musicians get on the train.  A saxophonist and an accordion player. They begin to play and I continue with my face in my book. Ironically,  a book about being present in the moment...
I notice the irony of the situation and put my book down.  I close my eyes and proceed to "experience " the moment.  I can hear the music more clearly now. I feel the breeze from the window and I am swaying in my seat as the train speeds along. I become totally immersed in what's going on. And then it happens.  I am completely overwhelmed with the absolute beauty of the experience. All my senses are fully engaged in the moment. True presence.  It brings  me to tears. I let the tears stream down my face and savour that as well.

Then it's over.

Being in the moment. Pure and simple. The power was immense, and now I have a beautiful memory to tap into, to remind me of the gift of presence.

So, how do you bring more presence into your world?  Especially when you're in the thick of things.

• Being conscious about doing it first of all.

• For me, it's remembering that the whole experience was maybe 3 to 5 minutes tops, and how often do I find myself with a couple of minutes in my day? 

• How many of you have 3 to 5 minutes between a meeting, or a phone call where you could sit and just “be”.  Wherever that may be?

• Maybe you can go back to visit an experience that brought you a gift that you could use in that moment. 

• That gift might be:  patience, clarity, calm, or a little escape to a trip you once took.  Try it next time you have a few minutes and see what opens up for you.

• Then, maybe, start extending that same "gift" of presence to those around you - just a couple of minutes, with your eyes away from your phone/computer/TV or whatever distraction is in front of you. Give your full, undivided attention. Notice what changes in you, and the other person when you do this. You may be pleasantly surprised.

Grazie Italia.

Are you willing to give it a try?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

The slower, lazy days of summer are the perfect time for reflection.

The next time you find yourself with a couple of minutes, turn inwards and take a few deep breaths.  Notice any sensations you may be feeling in your body; listen to any sounds that may be going on around you, near or far; if you have your eyes open, take in all of the scenery around you (even if you're in your home office).  Really make the experience vivid. So vivid that you could call it back another time to enjoy. Then, slowly, gently, ease yourself back into your day.

Are you ready to take a time-out to assess where you're at? Contact me  and we'll get you clear...

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

What can you learn on a “seedy” train ride?

I took a time-out!

I highly recommend it!

I took some 'time-out" to enjoy the Canada Day long weekend!   So here's a throwback from three years ago...enjoy!

It's a Saturday in July. Not just any Saturday...nope, it has to be one where it's a screaming 30+ degrees "without the humidity" as we like to say. Yep, this is the day that I take a look over at a patch of garden just beyond my sunroom and decide, it's time. Now's the time that this garden needs to be weeded.

Fast forward four hours and several blisters later, and it's done. Sigh, relief and a huge sense of accomplishment. My garden has been refreshed.

The next morning, as I'm enjoying my coffee on my deck, I look over and admire my hard work and bam! It hits me...what a metaphor!

Now that the extraneous growth has been removed, I can clearly see all the plants that had been covered up by the shade of the weeds. Plants that are already starting to stand tall again and, believe it or not, a couple of them have blossoms starting to unfurl. You know what else I see? Space. So much luxurious space that has been revealed around the plants. Space for breathing and potential growth; space that hadn't been visible before. I'm in awe as I look at the resilience that nature has. By removing some obstacles, the garden responds almost instantly to the light that is available to it, and the air around it. It's able to flourish again.

The word refreshed comes to mind again.

Metaphors. Why am I spending time sharing this with you?

How often do you let the weeds in your life overpower your garden? These weeds can show up as people; ideas; crappy TV shows you watch; too much news, or other situations that block your growth. It could be the weeds of other people's attitudes or opinions; ideas that you realize aren't actually yours!  Opinions and advice, all shared with the greatest of intentions yet, they somehow have begun to overshadow your plants.  If you let them, they can take over and hide the light so the plants begin to wilt and crumple. However, by carefully weeding out and separating what's yours, and what belongs to someone else, the plants are able to stand tall again. The space created allows time for reflection and also time for new growth to occur. 

So how about you? Do you need to spend some time weeding your garden?

Are you willing to give it a try?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

The slower lazy days of summer are the perfect time for reflection.  Have you been going with the flow, just because?  Maybe now's the perfect time to take a moment to notice. Is it time to question something that doesn't seem right anymore? Maybe do that and see what happens.

Are you ready to take a time-out to assess where you're at? Contact me  and we'll get you clear...

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Don’t be afraid to take a break…

Do you need a time-out?

Hell yes, you do!

Time-out*, I'm sure you've heard the term? If you're into sports, it's a common occurrence. If you're into parenting, or have been around kids in any capacity, you know it has a different connotation.

In sports? A time-out is a chance to quickly assess and refocus.  With kids? Often given as a form of discipline, a time-out is an opportunity for the child to regroup, maybe cool down and think.  Either way, a time-out is a chance to take a break.

Why is a time-out typically reserved for these scenarios, when it could be useful in so many other ways?!

Think about it.  Couldn't you use a time-out every now and then?  When might stepping back to quickly assess a situation and refocus, be useful for you or your team? Or, how about those times when you need to cool down and think? Yes, they happen.

Time-outs are not just useful, one might say they're necessary, and when utilized, you may find you're jumping to solutions sooner! Literally, taking a time-out can speed things up!

I had to learn this lesson personally after an injury five weeks ago.  I can tell you that, as difficult as it was, taking the time-out that I needed was crucial.  The time-out definitely sped up my recovery.  Who knew!!

So how can YOU apply this philosophy to the everyday situations that you may be encountering?
 
Maybe you could consider these two ways you can look at having a time-out:

Recognizing the need for a time-out and then taking it:

• Maybe you're working on something and making no headway.

• Or, you're in a conversation with a loved one and it's escalating.

• Any other scenario where a shift in perspective would be useful.

OR...

How about actually planning a time-out: 

• Look at your schedule and block small, regular chunks of time - think five minutes here and there - to take a breath or stand up, maybe take a short walk.

• I had a client who would put headphones on and listen to a brief meditation. Right in their shared office space. It's possible.

• Don't have five minutes?  Take one or two!

Think about it, how useful could this be to you, as an adult, to take your own time-out?  A chance to reset and refocus; shake up your energy, and get a new perspective on a situation.

Are you willing to give it a try?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

Either:

Plan a time out.

• Schedule a time-out into your day - remember it can be five minutes. Don't have five minutes? Plan for one or two!

Take a time out:

• Recognize when you need a time-out, where a shift in energy or perspective would be useful. The recognizing may take some practice.

Or, even better? Plan to do both.  See what happens!

Are you ready to take a time-out to assess where you're at? Contact me  and we'll get you clear...

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

*fun fact - you can spell it three different ways: time-out, timeout or time out!

Time outs are a good thing!

Are you hesitating?

There's information there for you.

I see you. You're watching, waiting.  For what?  The perfect time? The sign from the heavens that this is it, this is a go, or perhaps a no go. Regardless, the hesitation is real and it's on your mind...a lot.  Taking up precious bandwidth.

The hesitation. Should you reach out?  Is it too soon, too late? So many questions that are floating around in your head. Questions that you probably DO have the answers to if you allowed yourself to sit with them.  I know, the idea of sitting with them can be daunting.  It means that you're ready to put them to bed.  You're either going to jump and take the action, make the call, write the email, apply for he job etc.  OR...you're going to have the realization that you've been spending waaay too much time agonizing over something that you really have no intention of following through on. Both are hugely useful pieces of information. Both will lead you to the next step that's meant for YOU.  

So where are you at?  Is there something that's relentlessly niggling at the back of your mind and you're ready to "sit with it"?

There will come a point when it's time to stop talking, stop weighing all the options, stop researching... and to start taking action.  That action may include learning to sit with your experience  and  see what arises for you.  Maybe now is that time?


Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

Identify where you've been hesitating.  My guess is that this isn't going to take you long at all. It's probably at the forefront of your thoughts all of the time!

• Find a quiet space where you won't be disturbed. Then, ask yourself the following questions and take the time to explore what comes up for you:

  • Why are you hesitating here?

  • Is this really something that you want to do/have or be?

  • What's the roadblock? - this often shows up as fear...

  • Who are you letting down if you do this?

  • Who are you letting down if you don't do this?

  • Allow any question that comes to mind for you to surface - this may be the most enlightening for you...

Now what? Are you courageous enough to respect the answer that came up for you?

You don't have to process this alone.

Ready to take action? Contact me  and we'll get you taking your first step...

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Trust the pause…

Are you walking your talk?

Is it time to step into your own shoes?

Ann the coach here…this is how I start off my “Sticky Note” coaching videos*. Actually, I usually start off with a question, like the one above “are you walking your talk?”. Then I riff on it for 60 seconds or less, hopefully, causing you to pause and ask yourself the question and reflect on your own answer.

Do I walk my talk?

Hmmm. I try….Like most “experts”, we’re really good at dishing out the suggestions. We encourage our clients to take the suggestions into consideration if they want to see a change in their situation. Sounds good in principle, doesn’t it?

It does…until it’s you that needs to take your own suggestion. Your best advice. Then it takes on an entirely different meaning.

I had the recent experience of learning to look in the mirror and take my own advice. Ouch. I’ve been sidelined for three weeks with an injury. Three weeks! If you know me, you know that I’m very active and in the last three weeks I’ve been able to do nothing, nada, zilch. Ugh!

So what “talk” should I be “walking” right now?

Baby steps, is what I always advise my clients. I tell them that it’s the baby steps that lead to transformation. Yes, they aren’t typically working on a physical goal with me, however, the advice makes sense. Taking baby steps and allowing change to happen…bit by bit.

I’m doing it now and it’s tough. I now have an even deeper respect for my clients and their tenacity. Funny enough, I’m also noticing that the baby step approach IS working for my healing too! Who knew?

Umm, apparently me…

So, how about you? Are you walking your talk? You may be surprised by how difficult it is to do, and yet, useful. 

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

This one's going to be simple but maybe not easy.

When you find yourself facing a situation where you could use some advice: Pick your own favourite "advice"  that you like to give others. See how it may apply to your situation.  There's so much truth to the fact that you do have all the skills, strengths and capabilities you need inside you.  For real.

So for this week, what if you stopped looking elsewhere and, see what happens for you when you step into your own shoes!

Looking for someone to listen objectively to your situation? Contact me  I promise you'll walk away with some clarity!

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

*you can view these on my Instagram https://www.instagram.com/ann_the_coach/

What if you step into your own shoes?

What are you missing that's "hiding in plain sight"?

Is it time to take another look?

Have you ever asked someone else (often your partner or child) to get something for you from your kitchen?  After they look, usually only for a brief moment, they declare that "it's not there, I can't find it".  Then you get up, walk right up to the cupboard or fridge, and point to the thing they were looking for.  Sound familiar?

What's up with that!!?

Maybe they're just impatient and don't want to spend the time looking, or maybe they really don't know what they're looking for.

How about you?  Are you looking for "something" right now and you can't seem to find it; or, you don't know exactly what it is?

When you're looking too hard for something, it's easy to miss what's literally right in front of you.  You're too close and, when you get too close, you can miss the obvious. The low hanging fruit.

Perhaps you're standing too far back? Looking at that thing waaay over there.  Hard to even see what it is when you're up in the clouds.

Or, maybe you're familiar with my personal favourite? Distraction, looking but thinking about the other 100's of things you have to do.

It boils down to perspective...

It's about having just the right amount of distance so you can see the context around something, see the complete picture.  This is the sweet spot.

Have you been looking at the same thing and not getting any sort of traction? 

My guess is that you've gotten too close to the situation.  What you could use is some perspective. Maybe take a step or two back.

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

Pick one situation in your life right now where you've gotten too close, and a change in perspective would be useful. 

If you can:  

• ask someone you trust to listen while you talk through the situation. Chances are that one of two things is going to happen:

  • the person listening to you is going to point something out to you that seems obvious to them, but you've been too close to notice it or...

  • you're going to hear yourself speaking and you're going to notice something new about the situation

Another option?

• journal about it - set a timer for 7-10 minutes and continuously write about your situation, as in, not lifting your pen for the entire time, even if this means that you're doodling

• this type of writing can help you to uncover something that you hadn't thought of before. You may be surprised by what comes out of your pen!

• it also gives you a layer of separation. When you go back and read it, you'll have a fresh perspective, and the reading can create a little bit of objectivity that you didn't have before. 

Regardless of the option you picked, you'll probably find that you're walking away with more clarity about your situation, and who doesn't want some clarity!

Looking for someone to listen objectively to your situation? Contact me  I promise you'll walk away with some clarity!

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Look closer…or step back. It’s all about perspective.

Are you ready to expand...

or contract...

Both serve a purpose.
 

Contract...

Sometimes you need to step back and integrate or digest some learning you've had. Whether it's textbook learning; on the job learning; or possibly the most important: learning life's lessons. Whatever the case may be, just taking time to let something settle. It could mean you need time to reflect on a conversation you've had, or maybe you're at a certain point in your life where you're reassessing where you're going. You're ready to consider other options and, in order to do that, you actually need to reflect. Allowing, letting the dust settle, reaping the harvest - whatever resonates for you. This is what contracting can feel like. Pulling back to absorb and reflect before you expand again.

Yes, again.  It's an ebb and flow.


Expand...

Get bigger. Make your presence known. Step up and step out. Just like it sounds, it suggests you're ready to step out there, wherever or whatever 'there' may mean for you

Perhaps you're ready to take that integration, that learning you've done through reflection, and apply it to something else. Taking that thinking and putting it into action. Maybe you're ready to take on that new job; perhaps you're ready to get into a new relationship; maybe now is the time to make your move...whatever shows up for you.

Just checking in every now and then, to make sure that you're not held in either one of these states for a prolonged period of time, if it's not useful.  Contraction or Expansion.  Just like breathing.  There are the two phases, inhaling to expand and, exhaling to contract.  The timing varies and both need to occur for life to be in balance.


Contracting to reflect and expanding to do.

There's an ebb and flow, however, knowing when to reflect vs. continually doing is a balance. Where are you right now? If you've been expanding, maybe take some time to reflect, and likewise, if you've been reflecting, maybe it's time for some action? 

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

Get quiet. Really. Find 10 minutes in your day where you can hear your own thoughts. Then ask yourself:

• Do you need time to contract and reflect?

• Do you need to expand and take action?

Allow the answer to bubble up for you.  You may find that the answer comes from your heart or gut...not your head.

Having trouble deciding what your next step is? Contact me  Let's get you some clarity!

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Once you consider something possible...

It suddenly becomes more probable.

Truth.

A few years back I considered publishing a book.  I didn't know where to start.  Then I "happened" to run into someone I knew who had a marketing background. I asked them a couple of questions. The next thing I knew, I was connected with a graphic artist and the journey began.  One dream. One question, and the momentum began. The momentum grew and the connections seemed to start appearing.  Truly, once you consider something possible, it does become more probable. For real.

The simple act of allowing yourself to dream, or believe that something is possible, actually opens the door to making it a reality.

Your conscious mind, you know, the one that tends to chatter at you and have all kind of opinions, is actually the director of what goes on behind the scenes. It's like dropping a pin in your navigational app. It sets your direction. The unconscious mind then takes it from there. It starts to scan for ways to make that thing happen for you.

You can call it woo woo if you’d like and, respectfully, you’d be wrong.

Ever have an experience where you purchased something, lets say a new car. What happens next? All of a sudden, all you see on the roads around you is the same car that you bought. What happened? Did everyone else all of a sudden decide to purchase the same car? Nope. Those cars have been there all along. What changed then? You. Your brain is now noticing what was already all around you.

This is how dreaming about, or believing that you can have or achieve something, can work. Once you make that decision, your brain will scan to find opportunities for you.  

Be skeptical. And then try it!

Any possibility starts with the willingness to believe and then taking a small step...

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...


What are you waiting to do, "when"?

Most people I meet will tell me about something they're planning on doing "when they retire, the kids are older, they've hit some specific milestone that they've created, or they have a certain amount of $$$ etc.".

What's the thing that you say you'll do 'when'? 

• Take some time to dream. Yes, dream. What's your dream?  Believe it or not, you're limited mostly by your attitude and how you look at things.

• The idea that there's going to be a perfect time may be the biggest lie you're telling yourself. Life will continue to happen, like it always does - with zero guarantees. 

• What exactly are you waiting for?  Make a list of the reasons you have to wait. The reasons may be varied but often, the theme is: It's just not possible now.

• Now challenge your list. Yes, question it.

• What's one thing you could do right now to move you one step closer to that "thing" you've been putting off "until..."?  

• Take one step, it could be asking someone you know who has already done this thing to chat with you;  or it could be to look it up on the internet and see what's already out there.

Remember...Any possibility starts with the willingness to believe and then taking the first small step...

Don't know your first step? Contact me  Together we can get you started.

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Anything’s possible if you think it is…

Are you being consistent?

It will show…

I remember working with a personal trainer many years ago.  The first thing he said to me? "Be consistent, show up and do the work. It'll pay off in the long run."  He was right, 25 years later, I can appreciate the benefits of consistently showing up.

The good news here?  Consistency applies to ANY goal.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” Aristotle

Yes, anything we repeatedly do, over time, will end up "showing".  I recently attended a celebration of life and reconnected with some people I had not seen in 25 years! The amazing thing about not seeing people for that length of time? You can tell, rather quickly, who prioritized their health and wellness. From a purely observational stance - it showed. I use this example to illustrate that anything we do repeatedly will be evident over time.  The physical is just obvious.

Consistency is a double edged sword - where you are today, is a sum total of all your decisions and habits over time. Love where you are? Great! If not, good news here. The way you got here, is the very same way you can get to where you want to be. Small habits and decisions over time, will result in transformational change.

Whether it's a physical change, a financial goal or a relationship you want to improve, tiny, consistent, steps will result in long term change.

Transformational change.

Showing up and putting in the effort daily will pay off. Daily? Yes, daily.  
.
Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

Pick a goal that you don't seem to be getting any traction on, one that you're willing to invest in now.  Keep it simple and small.

Commit to taking daily action. It could be as simple as:

• sending one email

• making one phone call

• writing one sentence

• putting the money you're saving by making your lunch into an investment account

• choose one small action that pertains to your particular goal

Small steps over time will get results. Promise.

Where could you start some consistent action?

Ready to connect to your skills, strengths and capabilities again? Contact me  They're still there. I promise. 

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann

Stick to your plan.

Have you hit an obstacle?

It happens.

Especially when you're in pursuit of something that matters to you. 

You're cruising along and making progress towards what you want and then, it happens.  The log across the pathway. 

Unfortunately, this is common and, fortunately, you probably have more options than you think.
 

Now what do you do?
 

You can go over the log.  You can go around the log. You may even be able to go under the log.  And, of course, you can choose to pick another pathway entirely. Options.

The one thing that isn't optional: Losing sight of what you want because you've hit an obstacle.  Remembering your vision, the goal.

It's unlikely that you're going to find a solution when you're staring at the obstacle in front of you.  It's going to be hard to see what's possible when you're focusing on the problem.  Focus is like that.

This is where a change in perspective may come in handy. Draw your attention elsewhere.  Do you know what directing your attention elsewhere can do for you? Help you to see other ways to get to where you want to go.  

When you're too close to a problem, your focus is narrow.  In this situation, stepping back - to get the lay of the land and broaden the picture may be useful.

OR...

If you're too far back, stepping forward to bring things into focus may be the answer for you.  Regardless, changing how you view your situation is often the key to moving forward.
 

Let's get to it...

Your challenge for the next week...

When you hit an obstacle:

• Recognize that you've hit an obstacle. Sounds silly and yet true. Know what's happening.

• Re-focus your attention.

• Do you need to take a step back to take in the bigger picture? OR...

• Are you so far back that you have no focus at all?

• Remember why you set the goal in the first place - take some time to visualize it now.

Remember that anything worth achieving is going to come with obstacles. That's kind of the price of admission. You can do this!

Ready to connect to your skills, strengths and capabilities again? Contact me  They're still there. I promise. 

Stay safe and well.

Cheers,

Ann