Mind the gap...

If you've ever been to a UK Subway station you know this…the signs are everywhere, "Mind the Gap". The space between the platform and the doors.

A reminder to pause before you step forward. Be careful or you'll trip. How useful!

The gap of opportunity. That gap between reaction and response. Between deciding something's a challenge, or an opportunity. Pausing before making an assumption and asking a question instead. Deciding whether you're going to take the bait or take a breath.

Taking a pause to think about the thing you want, the thing you'd rather avoid, and noticing, what connects them? What bridge are you looking for? 

It all starts with a conscious pause and it's available to you too. With intention and practice you can build this skill.

In our quick paced world with jam packed schedules and competing priorities it's a skill worth cultivating, because it's so easy to miss this space, this opportunity.

Why?

When the feelings of stress start taking over, a series of reactions can happen.

Maybe your mind starts racing or your shoulders tense up. You realize you're holding your breath and your heart is pounding.

And...it happens fast.

This is when the danger of reverting to familiar behaviours or starting to make assumptions and then reacting in ways you later regret, is at its greatest. Yikes.

It doesn't have to be this way!

A pause. A breath. And reminding yourself, you've done the work, this isn't how it has to be.

Mindful. Intentional. Remembering that you can only steer the ship if you're head is clear.



Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...


The gap.

Even the name suggests it's small. That's because it is.

That moment between spewing something out of your mouth that you're going to regret, versus choosing "I'm taking a breath".

It doesn't happen overnight, it happens by purposely choosing...consistently.

Even, or maybe especially, when you mess up. Because you will. Changing any habit means that you're going to have to do some practice runs and fail.

It's about noticing when you mucked it up and replaying it over with what you would've rather done. Yes, I mean it.

Repeatedly.

Until one day you realize you're doing it.

There's no overnight success. It takes a willingness to stay the course, get messy and keep going.

You can do it! I've got your back.  

Tired of reacting and getting nowhere? Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann
*Confidence *Mindset *Performance Coach *Author 

Mind the gap…

Battle or adventure...watch your words!

Is it a battle, or is it an adventure? If this sounds familiar, you're right.

This isn't the first time that I've approached this subject because it's so important, and if you happen to be in a corporate environment...it's even more important. 

The label you put on people, things or situations directs your behaviour and ultimately your expectations. You'll always find what you're looking for.

What do I mean by that?

Let's use the battle or adventure example:

When you're heading into a meeting with colleagues where the subject is potentially contentious, if you think it's going to be a battle, chances are, it will be.

It's subtle, the way you think about things and label things will affect how you show up. It affects your behaviour and this will influence other's behaviour as well. Especially if you hold a leadership role.

What could you do instead?

In the battle vs adventure scenario, think about it: A battle suggests that you're against each other and it's going to be difficult...there's going to be a lot of tension.

When you reframe it to an adventure, it doesn't mean that there's no tension, but it suggests that rather than working against each other, you're working together towards something. It makes a difference, it's subtle and it matters.

Halo or horns, you get to decide. I mean it, you do get to decide. Did you know…If someone's labeled as a high performer, then you're more likely to overlook the mistakes they make. Whereas if someone is labeled as a low performer then you expect them to make mistakes and you do not see all the good things they do. That's why words matter so much...you need to be careful.

What you expect you'll get.

It's a mindset shift, recognizing that you have way more influence over situations and people than you think you do simply by changing how you choose to label something.

Think of it as a skill...because it is!


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...


Call to mind a particular situation where routinely things are not going as you would like them to go.

Now check in:

How have you labeled this situation, person or thing? Be honest with yourself.

Can you see how this label has created a self fulfilling prophecy? The situation, the person or the thing always ends up fitting that label?

Here's the good part, if you don't like how it's playing out. You get to make a change. You get to decide how you want to look at the situation, person, or thing. You get to relabel it and then watch how, when you expect something different...you will, in fact, change what you see and experience.

It takes practice, and it's well worth doing. You could change your entire experience.

Yes, you do have that kind of power.

Ready to shift your mindset? Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann
*Mindset & Performance Coach *Author 

Battle or adventure? Watch your words!

Check your priorities, by trying this strategy.

We'll cross that bridge when we get to it.  What if this is a strategy you can use, not an abdication?

When there are many competing priorities, it's important to distinguish what needs immediate attention and what can wait. It's a real skill, a skill that's worth utilizing for yourself and definitely for your team. Because yes, the kind of work we do sometimes feels like firefighting.

There's always something popping up, and it's being able to distinguish what truly needs attention versus what's just noise...and there's a whole lot of noise around us, isn't there?  What needs a small amount of attention now and perhaps a bigger amount of attention down the road? Or what can be totally disregarded? It's more of an art than a science, and this skill can make the difference between thriving or surviving in your environment.

If you're in an environment where everything seems like it's a priority, then nothing’s a priority, because something has to come before something else. That's where we can default to firefighting. Pointing the hose wherever the need seems to be the biggest without really exploring the source. Taking a moment to assess the importance.

Crossing the bridge when you get to it, is a strategy...you assess, identify the immediate needs, and then you move forward. You put your energy where it's needed most, now.

Maybe you're reading this and thinking, yeah, this is obvious. But the things we often think are obvious...not so much, right? Which is why it's useful to point them out every now and then. So consider this your every now and then reminder that not everything carries the same weight to it, not everything has the same importance.

It's a good strategy to manage overwhelm too. Deciding to put something on the back burner until it truly needs action puts you in the driver's seat...and who doesn't like being in the driver's seat?



Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...


Are you struggling with your to-do list, your emails, your texts, all of those things that can start piling up?

What if you took a moment to actually sit down and prioritize?

• If you can't seem to get it done, recruit unbiased help...not advice. Someone to ask you questions.

  • Why is this useful? You get perspective.

What's important about perspective?

• Perspective gets you out of the weeds and puts you on the mountaintop.

• It provides you with distance from the situation that you can't get by yourself.

When you're on the mountaintop looking down, what does the situation look like?

• Where does it fit in the grand scheme of things?

  • Is it a priority or a 'cross the bridge when you get to it' situation? One that will need your attention eventually, but not now. 

Prioritizing is a habit you can cultivate that will save you time and overwhelm down the road. What if you took the first step today by reviewing what's on your "list"? 

Ready to get some perspective? Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann
*Confidence *Mindset *Performance Coach *Author 

Check your priorities by trying this strategy.

What are you paying attention to?

Your intention drives your attention.


I talk about this a lot, and with good reason. Showing up as your best when the stakes are high, or there's no do over matters. If you're not clear on your intention, you're going to end up holding the short end of the stick. Why? Because the person with the strongest intention, the most prepared, is typically the person who gets what they want.

Your intention drives your attention.

Why does this matter? You get what you're looking for. That's how your brain works. It filters out the things you see as less important and pulls the things you see as more important into focus. It's a double edged sword. Used for positive and negative intentions. Whether you're aware or not. For example, when you're looking for the negative, that's what you're going to experience. Maybe it's the employee who seems to be underperforming, or someone in another area of your life who always seems to be difficult. If you look for underperformance, or the difficult behaviours, you will see them. Luckily this works the other way too, look for opportunities of good performance, and you'll be more likely to find them as well.

You also get what you prepare for. Think of it as setting an intention.

Too busy to set an intention? Easier to just fly by the seat of your pants and hope for the best?

Here's what can happen... you show up and you go into autopilot which means default behaviours. Maybe your default behaviours will be useful in that particular situation and maybe they won't. It might end up being a bit of a crap shoot and if you're looking to progress and grow do you really want to leave things to chance?

You need to ask yourself: Is it a risk worth taking?

When you're intentional about what your desired outcome is for a meeting or conversation, your brain does the same thing - filters out the things you see as less important and pulls the things you want into focus.

Here's the thing, it really doesn't take a long time to prepare. More preparation may be better depending on the situation however, if all you have is 5 minutes between meetings it could be as simple as stopping, taking a breath, and asking yourself: What is the outcome I want for this meeting, what would success look like?

That's it. Asking and answering those two questions.That in and of itself will have you thinking differently.

You'll be priming your brain to look for the opportunities that you want and you'll be more likely to notice them.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...


Think of something right now, professional or personal, where you would like to be more prepared and clear on your desired outcome.

Got something?

Great. Let's try something here. 

• Start by taking a couple of intentional breaths into your nose for a count of four, and out through pursed lips for a count of eight. Right out of the gate, being intentional about setting an intention.

• Repeat that a couple times if you want. 

Next, imagine the situation playing out as you would like it to. Really, stop and picture what it would look, sound and feel like. 

• Notice how you were behaving.

  • Your behaviour is a powerful tool. 

• What skills and strengths were you leaning on.

  • You'll probably notice a couple bubble up.

• What did you believe to be true about the situation and the outcome you wanted?

  • Did you head in believing that both you and the other person had good intentions for the situation?

All of these are small and powerful ways to get clear on what you want. Think of it as a mini dress rehearsal. When you think things through your brain recognizes them as familiar and that's useful when it comes to the real conversation.

Give it a try!

Are you clear enough on your intentions? Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

What are you paying attention to?

Is an old pattern coming up for you?

Old patterns creeping up?

Nothing's gone wrong. They're called patterns for a reason...and shifting them is work.

Doing the work, although it gets easier, doesn't ever completely end. I had a reminder the other day of how easy it is to slip into old behaviours and patterns, even when you think you've outgrown them or done the work.

This one was all about assumptions.

Can you relate?

This wasn't about assuming someone else's intentions or actions. It was about a situation where I assumed that I had made a mistake  A previous "go to" behaviour for me. I received an email questioning a potential issue with a meeting time and a faulty link. I hadn't messed up, but without missing a beat, I jumped to assuming it was me. I must have messed up.

As I was backpedaling and trying to sort things out, the other person reached out to me and said, "ha, please disregard..." they had made a mistake. No biggie, because it wasn't. But I was ready to make it a big deal for me. Ugh.

So here's a reminder, a refresher, for you and me. Doing the work, whatever your “work" may be, it's so important to keep doing it. And when you slip up, as you will, to recognize it as a slip up, and then course correct. Get going again.

Is there an old pattern for you that keeps rearing its ugly head?

This is not the time to beat yourself up.This is the time to get curious. Check in. Maybe you're tired. Maybe you've got something on your mind. Or, maybe shit just happens. Don't overthink it.

Take a minute to acknowledge that you actually caught yourself doing this. Bravo!

That in and of itself is growth.

The fact that you can notice when you're falling back into old behaviours is a testament to doing the work.

And it doesn't end. Maybe it's not a daily commitment anymore, but it doesn't mean you can drop it entirely.

Do you have an old behaviour that keeps popping up?


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...


Our behaviours are on autopilot. They're supposed to be, or you wouldn't get anything done. Autopilot eliminates the need to think about absolutely everything. This is a good thing, mostly. We don't notice behaviours until they become problematic for us, or sometimes, someone else.

What behaviour have you been working on that's coming to the forefront again?

• Maybe, like me, you're assuming you've done something wrong.

• Or for you, it could be assuming someone else has done something.

• Or it could likely be something else completely!

Just think about it now.

• Trace back your steps, what's going on for you?

• Maybe there's a reason for the slip up.

• Like I said, maybe you're just tired...you're at your capacity.

Or... you're human and shit happens sometimes. That's okay too.

Regardless of what it is. This is a chance to remind you to keep doing the work. Because if you noticed that you're slipping up, it means the work is ...working!!

Thank you for showing up! You're doing better than you think.

Ready to shift an old pattern? Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Is an old pattern coming up for you?

It's time to get back to basics...

Is it time to get back to basics?

What if what you need is right under your nose? It's so easy to dismiss the obvious thing, because unless we google it first, we don't trust that that thing that came up for us, actually is the thing!

Trusting that random intuitive hit. That really isn't random at all...

It's knowing that there's so much storage in that head and body of yours from the life you've lived so far. Information that informs decisions you make right here, right now. You don't need a google search to know how you feel...to know what your next best step is.

What you really need?  Is to trust yourself...trust your instincts.

It's time to get back to basics and "trusting your yourself" is one of the foundations of my Confidence Recipe**. With so much noise out there, you can get distracted and overwhelmed and forget that, it -the noise - will never top the instincts you have from the life you've lived. It's all in there.

The thing about trusting yourself, especially when it comes to making a decision, is that immediately you're going to have the choir of advisors come up in your head. They're going to tell you why you shouldn't do that, what they would do instead, etc. It's not usually the encouraging voices, the ones that you could use, it's the ones that tell you all the dangers and pitfalls of making that decision.

This is not helpful at all...and you can override this with awareness and practice.

If you pay attention to those voices and listen really carefully, the one thing that's going to start bubbling to the surface pretty quickly is the fact that a lot of those voices aren't even yours.That's good information.

That's the first step...recognizing whose voice is actually telling you that this isn't a good idea, or what you should do. Take a minute when it happens to really listen because often those voices are the voices of people in our past that had a lot of influence on us. Our parents, teachers, perhaps an influential person that you respected a lot. All those people whose opinion was given lot of weight. This is the foundation for the voices in your head.

This isn't about ignoring those voices.This is an opportunity to discern those voices and then decide.

• The discernment - whose voice it is?

  • Recognize where this input is coming from.

  • You or someone else?

• Ask yourself:

  • Do I want this advice?

  • Just because it's not your voice doesn't mean the advice isn't worthwhile.

Making this discernment can help you to more clearly hear your own opinions, your own voice and then make a decision that truly feels right for you. It's a practice.

It's a win/win...a process of learning that all the influence you've had up until this very moment in time is probably quite likely what led you to be where you are now. It's not a bad thing. It's about when you want to move forward, to start to choose your own way, that the discernment comes in to play.

That's where the practice comes in.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...


Practice:

Because it's practice that gives you permission to not get it right.

• You have to do the drills to get the skills. Fact.

• That's why you have baseball practice, soccer practice, hockey practice etc.

• To work the kinks out. To improve your skill level.

This is no different. This is where it starts. When you're making a decision:

• It starts with awareness: Noticing the noise.

• Then the discernment: Whose voice is this?

• And finally: Making your choice based on this information.

It's about being aware of when those other voices come up in your head with their opinions and then discerning and finally choosing.

You've got this. One step at a time...one situation at a time.

Do you trust yourself? Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

** "The Confidence Recipe"  http://tinyurl.com/5n6m7uf6

It’s time to get back to basics…

You get to create your view...

We don't see the world as it is...we see the world as we expect it to be.

Mic drop.

Maybe for you it's not and it's a good reminder for all of us. A reminder that we have a lot more say in our world then we think we do. I always include myself with you because...human being over here, living life, doing the things.

This was a line in a recent podcast I was listening to that stuck with me. I know it to be true, and I'm pretty darn good with creating the experiences I want, shifting my perspective when it's not helpful. I've done the work, and yet even when you do the work, a reminder is never a bad thing, it's exactly that...a reminder.

This is a check-in for you.

• How do you see your world?

• How do you "expect" it to be?

You have so much more power than you might think you do. The power to create the experiences you have, the agency to live the life you want.

It's that mindset of yours. Yep, I harp on mindset a lot because the word kind of bugs me, it's a misnomer. It suggests that your mind is "set" when in fact, it's not. Not if you decide to change it.

Your mindset is something that, with conscious work, you can change. I do say work because when you decide to explore your default settings it can be a wake up call. You may not like what you see, or hear or feel, depending on how you express or notice things.

One thing's for sure. You do have the ability to make changes...It doesn't matter how old you are, how far gone you think things are... all that stuff you're telling yourself. I'm going to call bull shit. It's about the desire to have things be different. That's where it starts.

So let's go back to that question I asked...how do you see your world, what do you expect it to be?

Does the answer you get feel satisfying? And by that I mean, looking down the road five years, if you continue to see your world this way, what will you have created?

What?!

Exactly. Your view of how things are, the way you respond to it, is creating that little microcosm...your current world. If you like where it's going, keep doing what you're doing. Maybe you've got it all figured out.

But if you don't like the trajectory you're on, the life you're seeing unfold if you continue to view the world the way you are, then let this serve as a gentle reminder. You have choices. Choices you can make that can change your outlook, create your world. And as always, they start with the tiniest steps carried out consistently.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

This is where the work begins. It's always about examining your current situation...because this takes determination and a willingness to unpeel the onion. One small layer at a time.

So if you're brave enough to do that, curious enough to do that, that's where you start.

Noticing how you show up.

• What's your "go to" thinking?

  • When things aren't great and...

  • also when they are.

  • How do you view them?

It's complicated, and I invite you for this week to just notice.What's your baseline?

That's it...start noticing, because nothing can be changed until you notice it's there. You've got this. I've got your back.
 

Ready to shift your mindset? Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

You get to create your view…

Why me?

"Why me?'

We've all been there. Sh*t hits the fan, and our first response is, "Why is this happening to me"? A completely normal response and a valid question to ask.

And...

If you're working on moving towards resilience, shifting your mindset...this question isn't the most helpful. It puts you in the role of victim...and nobody wants that role.

If you're hoping to move to a more useful state, that particular question "why me" may not be the one that's going to get you there.

From "why me" to "what is this teaching me?". Reframing it to "what is teaching me?" shifts you into a more curious state, a state that has more agency. It puts you in the driver's seat.

This doesn't mean that bad things don't happen.

Resilience is about having bad things happen and staying steady in that storm so that you can move forward more readily.

Having a growth mindset. Moving from "why me" to "what now"?

What's your typical go to response when  sh!t hits the fan? The knee jerk reaction that you may not even notice because you do it all of the time. This is fast and sneaky so you have to pay attention, and it's a good indicator of whether you have a growth mindset or not.

Why does having a growth mindset matter? People with a growth mindset tend to embrace challenges as learning opportunities. They also tend to be more resilient and optimistic as well. Coincidence?

What can you do to shift from "why me" to "what's this here to teach me"?

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...


Let's start with a check in.

Take one moment now to notice....what's your typical 'go to' response when sh!t hits the fan? Be honest with yourself, you're not gonna be telling anyone your answer.

No matter what your answer is, whether you're already pretty good with reframing things...practicing is never a waste of time.

Practicing how to move from "why me" to "what now"?

Step One:

• Catch yourself.

  • Catching yourself saying those words or something like that. "Why me, why is this happening to me"? Catch yourself doing it.

• You're going to have to really pay attention because chances are it's a habitual way of thinking for you.

Step Two:

• Mentally hit the pause button to stop going down the victim path.

  • Do this by taking a breath, getting present.

Step Three:

• Ask yourself, what's this situation teaching me?

  • It may be patience, tolerance. or perhaps it's to slow down. Pay attention.

Take some inventory. Remember, there's always a lesson If we're open to hearing it. 

We can't always choose what happens to us. Fact. We can always, without exception, learn to manage how we interpret it...how we respond. Also a fact. It's a practice.

Ready to shift your mindset? Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Why me?

There will be consequences...

There will be consequences...

What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word "consequences"? My guess is it's something negative...that's what consequence can conjure up. When, in fact, a "consequence" is merely a result or outcome of a situation or decision.

There's often good consequences to situations that maybe you can't see or you weren't expecting.

Anticipation. Expectations.

What about those situations where you're going in blind? You have no idea what the outcome will be. Where do you tend to lean?

Do you automatically assume it's going to be "bad"?

There's that mindset again, how you look at things...experiences. It can be quick and sneaky, before you have a chance to think it through...you've jumped to a conclusion.

Don't be hard on yourself, this really is how our brains are wired. It's a natural built-in shortcut. We get a piece of information and before we think it through our brain is looking for a pattern and if the situation seems familiar...boom!

Conclusion made!

This works with consequences too...apparently we underestimate both how good and how bad something will be. Ugh.

Now what?

How do you short circuit this very normal behaviour?

The power of the pause, the breath. When you're ready to draw your conclusion...or assume the consequence...take a beat.

What else could this be? How else could this turnout? Interrupt the pattern.

Easier said than done because it's work...and our brains are lazy...they like the shortcuts.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...


Whether it's a consequence or jumping to conclusions the key is to interrupt your normal pattern of behaviour.

This takes awareness first and foremost. Before you decide you know what's coming:

• Take a beat.

• Breathe.

Ask yourself:

• What's the worst possible outcome...remember the overestimating.

• What's the best possible outcome...again...remember the overestimating.

Then:

Find the best possible in-between...start there.

Then practice. A lot. You're not going to get it right all of the time...that's not the point. The point is always self-awareness.

Ready to shift your mindset? Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

There will be consequences…

Are you doing this? Probably not...

Are you doing this? Probably not.

At least not when you really need to because that's when old patterns and habits can take over.

What am I talking about?

Unless you've never be on an airplane, you know the drill: In the event of an emergency, or the cabin pressure drops, put on your oxygen mask before you attempt to help someone else. It makes total sense.

You can't help someone else when you're gasping for air.

We all know it, but when we really need it we can forget to put our own oxygen mask on before helping someone else.

I've recently had a great reminder as I refreshed myself on my resilience coach training that I took almost 7 years ago.

Resilience, I was reminded, is not about bouncing back, it's about being centered in the storm, utilizing your resources and then, moving forward.

There are many tools I have in my toolkit that I haven't been using...that I've forgotten about. The timeliness of this training is not lost on me.

How about you?

How are you when unexpected situations come up, or another "thing" is added to your pile?

What's your response?

It takes discipline and practice to put yourself first, especially if you're a female, because caring for others needs seems to be innate. It can take more effort to remember to pause and ensure that you're in your best state to manage yourself first.

Now that we're talking about it, what are your practices...what's in your self-care toolkit?

For me?

• Time walking in nature.

• Intentional breathing.

• Being creative.

Your list may be completely different. The point is that curating your own list is important. Having and practicing those activities regularly so that they're honed and always available whenever you may need them.

I just had a timely reminder of what resilience is and the toolkit I have available to me. Now it's your turn.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...


Now it's your turn and the first question is...

• Do you have a self-care toolkit?

  • If the answer's yes...are you utilizing it?

  • If not here's your reminder.

If you don't have a toolkit, no worries, you can get started right now.

• Here are a few simple suggestions:

  • Breathwork you can do anywhere.

  • Time in nature.

  • Good quality sleep.

Small tweaks that add up so you can be centered in the storms when they inevitably come and move forward rather than bounce back.

I see you. I've got your back and...

Remember...

You can only push for so long before your body, your mood, your motivation, and ultimately your health...hit a wall.

Take care of yourself first. Always.

Don't have an oxygen mask? Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Are you doing this? Probably not…