Do you jump to conclusions?

Do you jump to conclusions? Of course you do...you're human!

 "Jumping to conclusions" is part of a protective mechanism in our brain, picking up information and quickly drawing conclusions.

Humans have always been this way. This is what kept them safe. Our ancestors had to assume that when someone from another tribe was coming towards them with their hand behind their back...they were holding a weapon. This assumption kept them safe and alive.

There's not much chance of this happening now however, old habits take a loooonnnnggg time to be undone. Our brains will continue this pattern as a first response. When something seems to be heading in what feels like a familiar direction our brain will decide in a nanosecond: Where it's going and what the outcome will be. It's very useful in keeping us safe, but not so useful for keeping us in connection.

I was recently in a situation where that's exactly what started happening...not the hand behind the back weapon thing...a typical human exchange. To be quite honest, it was getting a little ugly...and from an outsider's perspective it was all a matter of someone thinking someone else meant something that they didn't mean. All because of familiarity and assumptions, expecting things to end a certain way because that was their lived experience.

It took a bit of repair work to backtrack.To clarify. To soothe emotions, because emotions are always involved. Whether it's a personal situation, in the gym, the boardroom...basically wherever. 

So if you find yourself in situations where you're jumping to conclusions...which is bound to happen... here are some things to consider:

• Don't be hard on yourself.

• Before a situation escalates, pause. 

• Now, reassess.

What new information do you have now? How do you want to proceed?

How do you work with this very natural, human condition? The first step is always awareness.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Jumping to conclusions... is human nature, we all do it. Working with this natural tendency takes practice especially in those situations where you're convinced of the conclusion...and it's not a good one. How do you learn to stop and allow the other person a minute to finish what they're saying? 

• Don't be hard on yourself.

  • Your brain is doing what it knows to do to keep you safe.

• Before a situation escalates, pause. 

  • A.B.C. Align your spine. Breathe in through your nose for 5 counts. Breathe out through your mouth as if you're blowing through a straw for 7 counts. While internally repeating "I am calm".

• Now, reassess.

  • Was your assumption correct?

Whether it was or wasn't, this brief check in can save a whole lot of grief in the long run...allowing you a chance to respond rather than react.

Jumping to conclusions? Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Do you jump to conclusions?

Have you lost the plot?

Have you lost the plot?

When I look around right now in situations that I'm often in as an observer, it's really easy to see where others have lost the plot. Where they have missed the point, Iost the storyline...all of it.

What does that look like?

From the outside, it definitely looks like the intention was probably good at the start. But somewhere along the line, someone took it a little bit too far perhaps...dug in their heels and now they're in a predicament. It can look like there's no turning back which, of course, isn't true...there's always a chance to turn back.

First, it starts with awareness...being willing to hear the feedback that whoa, whoa, we need to reassess, we need to check-in and perhaps ask ourselves a few questions.

• Starting with intention...what was the intention of this in the first place?
  

  • Chances are it made some sort of sense at the time.

• When did things start falling off the rails?
  

  • Maybe you can't pinpoint the exact time. But when you go backwards, just start to see the telltale signs. They'll be there if you look closely.

What do you do now?

Let's face it, you can always leave it as it is...stick your head in the sand and pretend it's going to be okay...you can believe that you have no say in it...you can't do anything.

Or...you can start to take steps. Start to notice where you can do something...where you can make a difference...because you always can and doing so means you're going to stand out. You're going to have to be brave. You might be going against the grain and that takes courage...and through the course of time, it's always been the ones who take those steps that shift situations, make them better.

Do you want to make things better?

Ultimately, you have to ask yourself, is it worth it? Decide it's worth the personal risk.

Only you can decide that.

Here's a litmus test that I tend to apply when I'm in situations where I'm not sure what to do:

Fast forward, even a couple years and ask yourself:

• Will I regret my inaction?

• Or will I be grateful that I took action?

This litmus test gives me real clarity on what I should be doing. Maybe you can try it too.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Ultimately, you have to ask yourself, is it worth it? Decide it's worth the personal risk.

Only you can decide that.

Take the litmus test. Be honest with yourself.

• When you fast forward, even a couple years, will you regret your inaction?Or will you be grateful that you took action?

This litmus test gives me real clarity on what I should be doing. Maybe you can try it too.

Lost the plot? Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Have you lost the plot?

In a tough situation?

This is for you. Yes, you.

When you're going through big changes it can feel like you have no agency...your sense of control has been handed off to someone, or something else. Even if you're not going through big changes, this is a reminder that you do have agency...you can make decisions. Despite how you may be feeling in this minute, you will feel more empowered after you have read and explored these suggestions.

Here we go, whether you think this is for you or not... if you're open, you'll find some value here.

Think of a situation now. A difficult situation where maybe you or someone you know is struggling, and the solution seems out of reach. No situation is too big or small.

Take your situation through the following steps and see what happens...

Where can you let go. What's out of your control?

• How much power do you have over the weather? Exactly...none. You can't change it.

• What "weather" are you trying to control? It could be another person?A situation that you'd like to influence but you can't.

What "weather" do you need to release?

What if you let it be. Letting something be can be difficult.

• Maybe you think you can change it...but you're coming up against resistance.Swimming upstream.

• The solution is crystal clear to you but you're not getting any traction. 

Letting it be. This doesn't mean you ignore the very real feelings that come with this.What it means is acknowledging that despite what seems obvious to you, you can't solve it and moving through the emotions that come up. Acceptance.

What could you let in?

• Maybe for you it's accepting some help.

• Maybe is acceptance. Period. It is what it is.

Let it be. Let it go. Let it in. Three steps to clarity.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Think about that situation again.What feels different about it after asking yourself the questions above?
It's not necessarily a "one and done"...sleep on it. See what pops. Ask the questions again, and again. Be open to what shows up. With time and patience the clarity will come.

Looking for some clarity?  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

In a tough situation?

In the middle of a storm?

If you're in the middle of a storm, here's some perspective for you...

When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about." Haruki Murakami

Whatever your "storm" may be, when you're in the middle of it, the one thing that you're definitely missing is perspective. The ability to understand that this will pass. That every storm you weather becomes a story you tell later. That the lessons you gain from the storm can be life altering.

You gain wisdom when you're open to moving through something knowing that it's temporary and...everything is temporary. 

I feel like I've recently come out of a hurricane and here are some of the things I've noticed that may be helpful for you:

• You're not necessarily going to notice it right away.

  • When you get used to something you can lose perspective.

• It may be a slow realization...the wind has subsided and the sun's coming out.

  • It can creep up slowly.

• There's a wash of relief that may come over you.

  • The day you thought would never come, did.

I'm filled with gratitude right now. I know I'm in the right place, that I made a good decision. I chose well. Despite the storm that came with it.

Here's the thing about choice, it doesn't mean that it comes without challenges...the "storms"...and it's remembering that deep down, there's a reason for the choices you make.

Despite the sometimes inevitable storms, your decisions, your choices, are yours to make and you're far more capable than you think.


In the middle of a storm right now?

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Are you in the middle of a storm right now? It's hard to have perspective when you're in the middle of something. 

• Get perspective.

  • For you, that may look like asking for help from a friend, partner, or co-worker.

  • Sharing the storm can make it less daunting.

• Look for the glimmers.

  • No matter the storm, there will always be glimmers if you look closely.

  • Maybe it's a small win with your kid, your boss, yourself.

• Know that this is temporary.

  • I'll repeat that for you...this is temporary.

  • All things eventually subside, settle, pass.

Remember:  "When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about." Haruki Murakami

This is the gift of the storm. Becoming the stronger, more resilient "you"...the person you never would have discovered without this storm. Remember that. 

Are you in a storm? Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

In the middle of a storm?

Is it a distraction or an opportunity?

Distraction or opportunity?

In this noisy, warp speed world that we live in, it can be incredibly difficult to discern between distractions and what may, in fact, be opportunities...

When it's one email after another, one social media post after another, one task after another...interruptions ...all that noise can pile up. People's opinions, ideas, just saying this makes me feel a little bit edgy.

How can you possibly think…stand back…discern??  How's this possible with all the noise? How do you tell what may be a piece of information or a nugget to explore?

Oh I don't have the answer to these questions...I'm looking for them!

How do you data mine in this world? How do you make sure that you are focusing on the really important things, whether it's at home, work...anywhere you are...any situation.

Taking a step back often helps. Literally or figuratively taking a step back allows you to see the landscape...to see everything that's going on, not just the thing right in front of you. Perspective.

Allowing yourself alone time...time to process. For me? It's definitely getting out in nature...going for a walk and just absorbing the sounds of the water, the birds, the wind, the leaves. Probably - 99% of the time -when I get my best ideas or solutions.

Problem solving. 

When you're in the middle of something and distracted by all the noise, it's really hard to see solutions. When you get out and about or switch gears and have a conversation with someone about something else, that's when it pops. That's when you can see the opportunity that you weren't able to see when you were in the thick of it.

Distraction gets a bad rap, and I want to argue that within the distractions that you face daily are often really useful pieces of information.

Clean up your world. Minimize distractions. Notice what bubbles to the surface. 

How do you view distractions? Do you even know you're distracted? In our world it's the norm.

Ready to make some time?

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...


Take some time, some quiet time. Whether that's sitting in stillness, getting out for walk, or doing whatever you do...allow your mind to wander.

• Take some time to notice.

  • When are you distracted?

• What specifically is distracting you?

  • A particular idea or ideas that keep coming up?

• Pay attention.

  • The very nugget you've been looking for may be right there - the opportunity.

When you're continually distracted by the same thought or ideas, get curious...your opportunity may be right there in front of you.

Distraction getting in your way? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

Is it a distraction or an opportunity?

Are you consistent? It will show...

Are you consistent? It will show…

I remember working with a personal trainer many years ago. The first thing he said to me? "Be consistent, show up and do the work. It'll pay off in the long run."  He was right, many years later, I can appreciate the benefits of consistently showing up…especially when I didn't feel like it, doing one little thing...sustaining a habit.

The good news here?  Consistency applies to ANY goal.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” Aristotle

Yes, anything we repeatedly do, over time, will end up "showing". I remember attending a celebration of life several years ago and reconnecting with some people I hadn't seen in many years The amazing thing about not seeing people for that length of time? You can tell, rather quickly, who prioritized their health and wellness. From a purely observational stance - it showed.

I use this example to illustrate that anything you do repeatedly will be evident over time...maybe not as obvious to others but definitely obvious to you...

Apply this to anything you want to achieve. A mindset shift? Growing your confidence? Becoming happier or healthier...whatever matters to you.

Consistency - where you are today, is a sum total of all your decisions and habits over time.

Satisfied with where you are? Great! If not, good news...the way you got here, is the same way you can get to where you want to be. It's not too late...you're not too old, too young or too whatever the story is that you're telling yourself.

Small habits and decisions over time, will result in change. It's like compounding interest…over time…tiny, consistent, steps will result in transformational change.

The kind of change that doesn't happen overnight...but by being consistent in your practices, putting in daily action.

Small sustainable practices will morph over time.



Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...


Pick a goal that you don't seem to be getting traction on, one that you're willing to invest in now. Keep it simple and small. 

Commit to taking daily action. It could be as simple as:

• Googling "how to" get started on that thing.

• Writing down three tangible steps you can take.

• ...and then...taking the first one.

It's always a good time to start. Start now. Today.


Ready to start?  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Are you consistent? It will show…

Things going sideways?

Things going sideways?  That's not necessarily a bad thing...

Often people think my blogs are inspired by some crazy deep experience, and that's not always the case...although there's nothing random about the things we decide to pay attention to either. This blog...was inspired by a duck. Yep,a duck. I was on a walk, and saw a duck in the creek drifting sideways through the water. 

For some reason it inspired me to write this and it ended up being surprisingly useful for me.

Maybe it'll be useful for you too...

• The idea of different perspective...

  • If you're facing something head on and finding you're not getting anywhere, maybe a change in view is in order. 

  • Turn around. Notice something in your environment that you've lost track of.

  • When you're sideways versus looking straight ahead, what do you see now? 

• Going with the flow...

  • Making it easier like the duck was...working with the situation instead of against it.

  • How often do you struggle with something when letting go and accepting is also an option. 

• Being solo...

  • What's the benefit of being with your own thoughts? 

  • It's easy to get caught up in the noise of other people's opinions and ideas... not that these aren't important. However, it's sometimes in our own company, our own space, where clarity comes.

Mull this over.

Where right now in your life, could you benefit from looking at something from a slightly different perspective? Whether it's looking at it from a new angle, surrendering rather than struggling, or just spending some time with your own thoughts... 


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

This was short and sweet today and surprisingly powerful. The suggestions may seem obvious and it's often the obvious that you can overlook.

Stop...think of a situation where you've been feeling like you're going against the current…facing it head on and not getting anywhere, or there's just so much external "noise" that you can't hear your own thoughts...

Here's an invitation for you...

Ask yourself:

• Where might turning in a slightly different direction be useful? 

• What if you stopped fighting and let it be what it is?

• How could some "alone" time bring clarity?

You might be surprised how these three simple questions can provide a new way forward. With perspective, ease and clarity.

Try it...

Looking for a different perspective? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

Things going sideways? That’s not necessarily a bad thing…

How do you leave people feeling?

How do people feel when they walk away from you? It matters...

I've been a coach for almost 10 years and I know how important it is that people feel more resourceful after a coaching session with me.

That doesn't mean they don't have to work to get there.

What does that mean? I don't solve their problems, it means I help them tap into their own resources, their skills, strengths, and capabilities that they've lost track of. They just need a reminder, a nudge.

Now, as a leader of a team in a corporate environment, I find myself doing the same thing. My role is not to do their job. My role is to develop them, to grow them, to help them reach their potential. That means helping them to find their own resources, their skills, strengths and capabilities. Leaving them more equipped than when they come into a one on one meeting with me. Essentially, elevating them and working my way out of a job...that's what good leaders do... they create more leaders.

You might be thinking, I'm not a coach or I'm not a leader in an organization, while that may be true...you also interact with people in your daily life. Your partner, kids, siblings, work colleagues, parents, friends, maybe it's the cashier at the grocery store.

You are always leaving someone with a feeling after you have an interaction with them... and my question to you is, how would they describe how they feel after having an interaction with you? Lifted, lighter, calm, stressed, these are all things to consider.

What what kind of breadcrumb trail do you leave?

It matters.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Time for some reflection or perhaps an assignment, if you're up to it. 

If you're working on building your "people" skills, and you want to be more aware of your impact on others here's something to consider. Pick one situation or interaction you've recently had and ask yourself the following questions:

• How did this person feel when we started our interaction?

  • Based on your "assumption"...because you don't truly know how they felt.

• How did I help them become more resourceful in this interaction?

  • Did you give advice, or did you help them come to their own conclusion?

• What resources did you notice in them that you acknowledged?

  • Often people can't see their own strengths and capabilities.

• How did this person feel after your interaction?

  • Lifted deflated, more resourceful, less resourceful?

These are good questions to ask yourself whether you're a leader, coach, friend or colleague. How you treat someone, how you leave them feeling, matters. 

Want to leave a better breadcrumb trail...  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

How do you leave people feeling?

Another moment when...

Another moment when...

You realize and appreciate that you don't have to have it all figured out...and it's so freaking liberating!

So liberating to know that other people have the answers to the questions you have...

It's built into our DNA to want help others.

When you're navigating something new,  remember there truly are many people out there who want to help you...want you to succeed!

I've been a long time believer in focusing on your strengths, because that's where you can shine. I understand what my strengths are, and I'm recognizing the strengths of the people around me and capitalizing on that.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I like to think that as I learn these lessons, I can share my learnings with you.

Don't think for one second that I assume that you don't already know this lesson, but you know what? Sometimes we could all use a little reminder.

...and that's what I'm doing right now. Giving you a reminder to focus on what you do well and to reach out to those around you who can support you...and who you can support... because they don't know everything either.

It takes a village...

They don't have all the strengths you have. It circles all the way back to that part of the bigger puzzle that you are. You are significant and important and so is your contribution, but you can't contribute to an empty vacuum, you have to be part of something bigger.

No matter where you are now, whether your challenge is something that feels personal, it's a relationship challenge, or a particular work situation, these principles apply.

No one has it all figured out...this we know...and you can find people who have pieces of information and experience that you don't have, people who can help you out. Whether you're planning an event, you've just had a new addition to your family, or an unexpected life hurdle put in your path, there are people out there who are more than happy to provide you with your missing puzzle pieces. To fill in the gaps that you can't.



Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

They say it takes a village and it's true. 

Don't have a village?

• Create one.

• Look for someone who's five steps ahead of you and ask them for help.

• Proactively, be that puzzle piece for someone else.

You'd be surprised how many doors open for you when you take the first step and help someone else. It's in your DNA...

Time to explore what's possible for you? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

Another moment when you realize…

What have you put on hold?

What have you put on hold?

I know I've put something on hold…and I'm okay with it... because I asked myself a few questions that provided me with some true clarity.

How about you? Are you continually putting that same thing on hold?

Are you ready to get some clarity?

Let's go!

While I'm a big fan of writing down the answers to questions, I didn't in this particular exercise...and if you feel that's useful, which I believe it truly is, grab yourself a piece of paper and something to write with.

Think about that thing that you're constantly thinking about but not taking action on. It could be anything. It's taking up bandwidth in your brain, but for some reason, you're just not getting around to doing it. It seems to be on hold indefinitely.

Got something? Great. Now explore the following questions:

What am I resisting?

• It could be making a change you don't want to make, that feels like it’s been imposed on you.

What limitations have I put on myself, or this thing that I want, that cause me to continually put it on hold?

• Maybe you don't think you have the skills you need to do that thing. Maybe you think it's not important enough yet. You'll get to it when it's more of a priority.

And the biggie...what am I afraid of?

• This is a loaded one. What fears are getting in the way? It may not be totally obvious right away.

Now...the litmus test. One I routinely use on myself and with clients.



Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

The litmus test? Fast forward a couple of years...

From this vantage point notice:

• Are you truly resisting, or is this thing really not for you?

• Were the limitations accurate, or excuses to keep you stuck?

• How significant is the fear from this perspective?

And the most powerful question?

• Will I regret putting this on hold?

Regret. When you do this exercise you can circumvent regret. Usually, you don't regret the things you did, taking action. You tend to regret allowing what can look so unimportant in the rearview mirror from stopping you from doing that thing. 

What's different now about that thing you keep putting on hold?

Time to take action? Don't know where to start? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

What have you put on hold?