It's the perfect time to let something go...

It's the perfect time to let something go...

What are you hanging on to?

We collect so many things along our way, sometimes they're things that don't even belong to us...and still...we cling tightly to them. It takes time and intention to determine whether or not something is ours to hold.

This is why "the fall" is the perfect metaphor for examining your current status. To make an assessment…to be intentional and check in if you want to continue on your path...the one intended for YOU.

Nature is a natural at letting go, releasing what it doesn’t need anymore. Just take a look around, most trees are shedding their leaves. There's a whole symbiotic relationship between trees and their leaves. In fact, there are several reasons why deciduous trees lose their leaves: 

• The tree will expend less energy through the harsh winter

• It conserves moisture within the trunk and keeps it from drying out

• It allows wind to blow through the branches, putting less strain on the tree.

In other words, it becomes more about the tree then the leaves, and the tree naturally lets them go. It’s not selfish...it’s survival. Doing what's best for itself.

Then why is it so hard for humans? Mostly because: You’re full of emotions that come into play when you’re ready to move forward with a decision or choice that's in your best interest.

What keeps you hanging on?

Do you have something hanging around in the back of your mind that's holding you back, weighing you down, or getting in the way of you moving on?

Here are some things that you may want to consider letting go of:

• Beliefs.

  • Maybe you have some beliefs that you're hanging on to that aren't actually yours? Considering that most of your beliefs have been formed through time,starting with your parents, moving to teachers and other early influencers and then, friend groups, professional groups etc. it's quite likely that they may not serve your purpose anymore. So before you listen to that little voice in your head, just make sure it's yours. Pay attention...is there a belief you've been carrying around that isn't even yours? Let it go...

• Other people's opinions.

  • Are you worrying about what others may be thinking about the decisions you're making? Newsflash... they're too busy worrying about their own stuff! As humans we are wired for connection and belonging. It's part of our biology and it feels safe. If you feel like you're going against the pack it can feel scary, even if it's for very good reasons. That's why you can put too much importance on what others think. Let that sh*t go!

• Expectations.

  • Maybe it's an expectation you have of yourself? It's easy to cut others some slack, however, when it comes to yourself...often, the bar gets set in a different place, and it's usually higher. Let go of those unreasonable expectations.

By letting something go, you open up space for something else to come in. Maybe something that's been at the back of your mind that you've been ruling out, an idea or a perspective that you haven’t considered in a while or perhaps, it's opening up space to explore something completely new.

Where in your life right now are you clinging to something because at one time you needed it, or it benefited you?


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Take some time in the upcoming weeks as we move through the fall to examine something you've been holding on to that your starting to feel like it's time to let it go. It doesn't have to be something big, just something that's been "niggling" at you and perhaps taking up a little more bandwidth then you'd like it to. 


Consider which of the scenarios may be at play here:

• Your beliefs.

  • Is it a way of thinking that's getting in your way?

• Other People's Opinions

  • Are you giving too much weight to someone else's opinion?

• Expectations.

  • Are the expectations you're putting on yourself realistic?
    
    

Maybe for you it's something else entirely at play. Just notice what comes up for you.

Really ponder these questions...and then make the decision...is it time to let this go?

Trust the answer you get.

Ready to let something go?  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

It’s the perfect time to let something go…

Sometimes it's worth it...until it isn't.

Sometimes it's worth it...until it isn't. 

But how do you know?

You'll never know it unless you stop and assess, and that takes planning and intention...and who has time for that? 

Whether you realize it or not, you are constantly making this assessment: Is the "cost" of this (you fill in the blank) "worth" it.

Worth what?

• Your time.

• Your energy.

• Your commitment.

• Something else?

You are always making this assessment. Whether you're doing it consciously or unconsciously...you're constantly making the cost/worth assessment.

• Do you walk or take the car.

• Do you really want to get on that roller-coaster?

• Chocolate or vanilla?

In those moments you decide. These are relatively low ticket decisions.

And then there's the bigger ticket items where surprisingly, you can head in, not even considering what it may cost you.

Let me use an example that maybe you can relate to... relationships. I'm guessing most of you know someone who has stayed in a relationship because there seemed to be good reasons at the time. Maybe it was a relationship where the cost was literally financial...getting out of the relationship was not feasible because of  the  financial  implications. So you were willing to put up with the other things that went along with that that weren't ideal. Perhaps it was because the kids weren't old enough. Or maybe you just thought it would get better. Regardless, you made a decision that was right at the time.

The fact is, whether you thought about it or not, you were assessing in that moment...that the cost of staying in the situation was worth it...until it wasn't. A few years passed and you made the decision that it was no longer worth it.

You reached a tipping point.

We're bargaining with this all of the time. The cost could be your energy, your willpower, your time, or actual money.

There are costs involved in every decision we make. We just don't think about it that way and what I'd like to do is to suggest that rather than unconsciously going through life and letting things creep up on you...let's make a conscious effort every now and then to check in and assess.

How do you know when the cost has become more than the worth?

This is a really tricky one that I still haven't perfected, mostly because I will keep telling myself, give it some time. Keep going, give it some time.

And then all of a sudden, I have that moment where the cost is exceeding the worth...and I'm paying for it. Ugh.

The good news...I'm getting better at it and so can you!

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

We all know that there are costs involved in everything. Whether it's your willpower, literal financial costs, time, or things you can't do because of it. There's a cost to doing the things that we want to do...and the things that we think we have to do.

I guess you could call it the price of admission and that's okay...just be aware. And also know that it's a good idea to check-in every now and then to check that balance. Because you'll never know it unless you stop and assess, and that takes planning and intention...

Let's start by asking yourself these questions. Write down the answers.

What is this situation costing me right now?

• Time.

• Energy.

• Health.

• What else?

Be honest with yourself.

Then, read those answers over and ask this one final question:  Is the cost still worth it?

Let that be your guide. If the answer is yes...brilliant...keep doing what you're doing. If it's no, maybe it's time to dig a little deeper.


Ready to do some digging?  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Sometimes it’s worth it…until it isn’t.

Ready to turn back?

Ready to turn back?  Hold on a second...

No matter how far along the path you go, you can always turn back. It's always an option.

Turning back on the path can be interpreted as failure...giving up...settling. I want to suggest that having the courage to turn back on the path is actually brave.

And...there's a caveat:

• When you turn back, do not expect things to be the same.
  

  • Depending on how long it's been, the more you've traveled, the more things may look different. That's to be expected. Things aren't supposed to be the same...look for the familiar, but expect different.

If there was an uphill climb to get where you are, then remember that's now going to be a downhill trek.  You'd think this would be easier...and if you do any hiking you know it can also be a bit wobbly.

You may be surprised to find yourself tripping in places where you didn't before, and also easing through things that might have been previously difficult.

The point is...going backwards is not failure...it's a decision and it's one that's available to you anytime you choose.

The stones that were stepping stones on the way out are still stepping stones...and on the way back they'll have a different purpose.

Remember that the view will be different. You're looking at it from a new angle, the perspective has altered. Pretty much everything is different.



Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Are you looking to turnaround on your path? No matter what "path" comes to mind...remember the caveat...
 
Don't be looking to go backwards if you're looking for the thing you had before...because it's not going to be there...because you're not the same, you've changed. You've shifted, things will never be the same.

And...you'll be bringing this newer, wiser version of yourself back with you.That's probably the best part.


Ready to go?!  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Ready to turn back?

Not feeling it? I get it and...

Not feeling it? I get it and...

You're not always going to feel like doing it.

Whatever "it" is for you...

Staying consistent when you don't feel like it is probably the toughest thing to do. It would be easier to phone it in sometimes wouldn't it?

I'm just coming off a week of vacation and quite frankly, I could take another week and very easily enjoy a few more campfires...a few more days at the beach...maybe a couple more days kayaking in the river...you get my drift.

And yet, that's not what's in store for me.

What's in store for me? Probably 100's of emails, many of which I probably don't need to receive...but  they'll be there to sift through..and sift through them I will...because that's what I signed up for...

What have you signed up for that sometimes feels difficult?

Maybe we both need a reminder!

Everything is temporary.

When things are going well...enjoy it. Like when you're on vacation or doing something you love...savour every moment.

And when things aren't going well? Remember...it's temporary...and look for the bright spots...the glimmers...because you're always going to find them if you look hard enough.

This just may be one of the things that  separates people...the ability to recognize the temporariness of situations.

The people who don't feel like doing it and somehow are able to dig deep during those times and find at least one thing to do to keep going...one small action.



Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

I'm keeping this short and sweet because I've got some stuff to do...stuff I don't feel like doing!  

I want to remind you that if you're experiencing a "challenging part" right now... it's temporary. It will pass...and that doesn't mean you don't have to do something.

It means that you have to recognize that digging deep and doing the thing is what's going to get you to the other side.

I see you.  We've got this...one small but firm step at a time.  

Ready to go?!  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Not feeling it? I get it and…

You're not a machine...

You’re not a machine…you're a human being and...human beings need to unplug to recharge.

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it”. Ferris Bueller.

It’s rapidly approaching fall, have you taken a break yet? There's still some time to take a pause, recharge, and reset.

• Pausing to check in with yourself.

  • When you’re on the constant treadmill of life, it can be easy to forget about taking time for yourself.

• What can a pause look like? 

  • From taking a vacation,to finding moments in your day; a pause is a chance to step back, catch your breath, and reset.

Why does making time to pause matter? There are so many benefits:

• By stepping away from something you can get a new perspective on it.

  • Something as simple as getting up and going for a walk can be enough to provide you with fresh insights. 

• It can recharge your batteries.

  • When you charge an actual battery, you plug it in. But you’re not a battery! In order to recharge your human batteries you need to take a break... 
    They say everything works better if you unplug it. Yourself included. 

  • You can actually gain momentum by slowing down. New ideas come in those moments when you’re doing something else.

• If nothing else, taking a break can serve as a reset. A new baseline to move from.

So what can you do?

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Short on time but still need a refresh?

Reconnect with:

• A hobby you never find time to do.

• Nature. 

• Your partner, dog, cat, or an old friend.

• Yourself.

You may just find that by slowing down, you discover something new.

It's still summertime...barely... Every now and then, stop and take a look around, take in the scenery. Check-in with all of your senses.Track through your body, and notice your breath or balance. Listen to the sounds around you, near and far. Notice your surroundings and take in the details. All of it. Savour it. 

Just like Ferris Bueller said…"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it”.  And, you don't want to miss it!

Ready for  a reset?  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

You’re not a machine…

Can we talk about fear?

Can we talk about fear?

We act as if the people that achieve many things...seem to be "on it"...take chances, and move through the world with apparent ease...feel no fear. 
.
Feel no fear?!

That's probably one of the the biggest lies out there. We all feel fear. Maybe it's more about our interpretation of it and how we manage it when it comes along. I don't know. What do you think?

I bucket fear into two categories, or maybe not the fear itself...but rather...the way we can manage it.

The first bucket?

Probably pretty common, is to feel fear and treat it like a "stop sign". "It must be bad to do this thing" if you're feeling fear, and yet we know that fear is a natural response. When you want to do something different, when you want to do something new, when you decide to make a change...fear will normally come up...because that's how we're manufactured. Our brain wants to keep us safe. When you want to do something new, the alarm bells go off. Let's face it...it's not very convenient at all. When we normalize this and understand that that's just a process that everyone goes through, it can totally open the door to new opportunities, to mobilize fear differently.


The second bucket?

To look at fear as if it's a gateway. When you look at it that way, it suddenly becomes very different. My approach to it shifts, and I'm able to see the opportunity behind the fear. It takes practice because it's working against nature. I try to remember this and reframe fear when it comes along because let's face it, if we back off every time we feel fear how boring would our lives be?  

Just to be clear...you do know that I don't have it all figured out. I'm just a person like you. Maybe all of this is obvious to you, but not so obvious to people around you. So while I juggle some fear right now, knowing that it really will be okay, I'm telling my brain to do the work, do the preparation and it'll work out. I will still get that feeling in my chest and stomach...and I will choose to look at that as a reminder... a reminder that this is a gateway...not a stop sign.

How about you? How do you manage your fear? What tricks and tips can you share? I'd love to hear from you. It's nice to know you're out there!


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Like I said, I'm no expert, I just know the things that work for me and I'm here to share. Take it or leave it. 

So for this week, I want you to explore:

• What is your first response when you feel fear?

  • The stop sign?

  • The gateway?

  • Your thing?

When you reframe the way you respond to fear, you may find that it works for you...not against you. 

Have a wonderful week.

Ready to grow your confidence? Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Can we talk about fear?

How long is a decade?

How long is a decade? 10 years...521.429 weeks...3650 days...87,600 hours... 5,256,000 minutes...315,360,000 seconds...

Long ago...and just like yesterday. That's how long a decade is.

10 years ago, this very day, I stepped away from my life in the corporate world to start my own business. To say it's been rewarding is an understatement.

In these past 10 years, I've redefined so many things about my world and also grown a skill set that I never imagined I would carry back into the very place I left.

Earlier this year, I was invited to step back into an amazing company.  I'm leading a team with the purpose of elevating each member and ultimately...the team. To say it's been rewarding is nothing short of an understatement. The gratitude I have for being able to bring all of these skills that I've developed in the last 10 years into the organization that I loved, was it truly a pinch me moment. Now, after almost five months, I can see that the decision to modify my business temporarily was probably one of the best decisions I've ever made.

I get to bring all of the skills that I've developed in the last 10 years to the forefront, to use them literally...daily. Being able to witness in real-time, the growth that's happening right around me has been a pleasure to witness. How lucky am I?

What an unusual and amazing opportunity as a coach. So while this is a temporary situation, I am cherishing each and every lesson along the way. Knowing that it's going to make me an even better coach, a stronger coach, a more aware coach.

Here's to the next 10 years! 

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

I invite you to consider what you want to look back on 10 years from now.  Every single adventure starts with the willingness to say yes and then taking the first step.

"Nothing ventured...nothing gained."

Thank you for being here! I appreciate you.

Curious about what coaching can do for you? Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

How long is a decade?

Do you jump to conclusions?

Do you jump to conclusions? Of course you do...you're human!

 "Jumping to conclusions" is part of a protective mechanism in our brain, picking up information and quickly drawing conclusions.

Humans have always been this way. This is what kept them safe. Our ancestors had to assume that when someone from another tribe was coming towards them with their hand behind their back...they were holding a weapon. This assumption kept them safe and alive.

There's not much chance of this happening now however, old habits take a loooonnnnggg time to be undone. Our brains will continue this pattern as a first response. When something seems to be heading in what feels like a familiar direction our brain will decide in a nanosecond: Where it's going and what the outcome will be. It's very useful in keeping us safe, but not so useful for keeping us in connection.

I was recently in a situation where that's exactly what started happening...not the hand behind the back weapon thing...a typical human exchange. To be quite honest, it was getting a little ugly...and from an outsider's perspective it was all a matter of someone thinking someone else meant something that they didn't mean. All because of familiarity and assumptions, expecting things to end a certain way because that was their lived experience.

It took a bit of repair work to backtrack.To clarify. To soothe emotions, because emotions are always involved. Whether it's a personal situation, in the gym, the boardroom...basically wherever. 

So if you find yourself in situations where you're jumping to conclusions...which is bound to happen... here are some things to consider:

• Don't be hard on yourself.

• Before a situation escalates, pause. 

• Now, reassess.

What new information do you have now? How do you want to proceed?

How do you work with this very natural, human condition? The first step is always awareness.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Jumping to conclusions... is human nature, we all do it. Working with this natural tendency takes practice especially in those situations where you're convinced of the conclusion...and it's not a good one. How do you learn to stop and allow the other person a minute to finish what they're saying? 

• Don't be hard on yourself.

  • Your brain is doing what it knows to do to keep you safe.

• Before a situation escalates, pause. 

  • A.B.C. Align your spine. Breathe in through your nose for 5 counts. Breathe out through your mouth as if you're blowing through a straw for 7 counts. While internally repeating "I am calm".

• Now, reassess.

  • Was your assumption correct?

Whether it was or wasn't, this brief check in can save a whole lot of grief in the long run...allowing you a chance to respond rather than react.

Jumping to conclusions? Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Do you jump to conclusions?

Have you lost the plot?

Have you lost the plot?

When I look around right now in situations that I'm often in as an observer, it's really easy to see where others have lost the plot. Where they have missed the point, Iost the storyline...all of it.

What does that look like?

From the outside, it definitely looks like the intention was probably good at the start. But somewhere along the line, someone took it a little bit too far perhaps...dug in their heels and now they're in a predicament. It can look like there's no turning back which, of course, isn't true...there's always a chance to turn back.

First, it starts with awareness...being willing to hear the feedback that whoa, whoa, we need to reassess, we need to check-in and perhaps ask ourselves a few questions.

• Starting with intention...what was the intention of this in the first place?
  

  • Chances are it made some sort of sense at the time.

• When did things start falling off the rails?
  

  • Maybe you can't pinpoint the exact time. But when you go backwards, just start to see the telltale signs. They'll be there if you look closely.

What do you do now?

Let's face it, you can always leave it as it is...stick your head in the sand and pretend it's going to be okay...you can believe that you have no say in it...you can't do anything.

Or...you can start to take steps. Start to notice where you can do something...where you can make a difference...because you always can and doing so means you're going to stand out. You're going to have to be brave. You might be going against the grain and that takes courage...and through the course of time, it's always been the ones who take those steps that shift situations, make them better.

Do you want to make things better?

Ultimately, you have to ask yourself, is it worth it? Decide it's worth the personal risk.

Only you can decide that.

Here's a litmus test that I tend to apply when I'm in situations where I'm not sure what to do:

Fast forward, even a couple years and ask yourself:

• Will I regret my inaction?

• Or will I be grateful that I took action?

This litmus test gives me real clarity on what I should be doing. Maybe you can try it too.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Ultimately, you have to ask yourself, is it worth it? Decide it's worth the personal risk.

Only you can decide that.

Take the litmus test. Be honest with yourself.

• When you fast forward, even a couple years, will you regret your inaction?Or will you be grateful that you took action?

This litmus test gives me real clarity on what I should be doing. Maybe you can try it too.

Lost the plot? Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Have you lost the plot?

In a tough situation?

This is for you. Yes, you.

When you're going through big changes it can feel like you have no agency...your sense of control has been handed off to someone, or something else. Even if you're not going through big changes, this is a reminder that you do have agency...you can make decisions. Despite how you may be feeling in this minute, you will feel more empowered after you have read and explored these suggestions.

Here we go, whether you think this is for you or not... if you're open, you'll find some value here.

Think of a situation now. A difficult situation where maybe you or someone you know is struggling, and the solution seems out of reach. No situation is too big or small.

Take your situation through the following steps and see what happens...

Where can you let go. What's out of your control?

• How much power do you have over the weather? Exactly...none. You can't change it.

• What "weather" are you trying to control? It could be another person?A situation that you'd like to influence but you can't.

What "weather" do you need to release?

What if you let it be. Letting something be can be difficult.

• Maybe you think you can change it...but you're coming up against resistance.Swimming upstream.

• The solution is crystal clear to you but you're not getting any traction. 

Letting it be. This doesn't mean you ignore the very real feelings that come with this.What it means is acknowledging that despite what seems obvious to you, you can't solve it and moving through the emotions that come up. Acceptance.

What could you let in?

• Maybe for you it's accepting some help.

• Maybe is acceptance. Period. It is what it is.

Let it be. Let it go. Let it in. Three steps to clarity.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Think about that situation again.What feels different about it after asking yourself the questions above?
It's not necessarily a "one and done"...sleep on it. See what pops. Ask the questions again, and again. Be open to what shows up. With time and patience the clarity will come.

Looking for some clarity?  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

In a tough situation?