When someone says to me, "if I were in your shoes", my tendency is to smile, nod, and politely listen in order to avoid what I really want to do, which is run.
I want to run because when someone's offering advice, framing it that way, they're really not thinking about me at all.
They're projecting, which is what we do as humans. We think back to our own experience that seems familiar to the situation in front of us. We reflect on what did and didn't work for us, our regrets and successes, and then we feel compelled to share that with someone else. It happens in seconds. All from a place of goodness, that's for sure. But usefulness...
Hey I'm always opening to listen to other people's experiences. I think that's what makes the world go around. We can learn from each other, but also learning to trust that deeper knowing that you have inside, that's based on all your years of experience, knowledge and doing. That's the part that can get missed, especially if you're in a situation that feels uncomfortable and you're looking for a way out. Wanting someone else to provide a solution is a natural response.
Trusting that you really do have the wisdom you need. Because you do, and because no one is ever going to be in the same circumstances you're in. Ever. It's pretty much impossible because of who YOU are. Your experiences, which go way back. You are the accumulated version of all of that. That's why even if a situation seems the same, your experience of it and response to it will be, yours.
So listen to the advice. Acknowledge it. Make your call. You may even take the advice if it feels right. That's ownership.
Are you ready?
Let's get to it...
Your challenge...
One thing we'll never be able to avoid is other people's opinions, and that's okay. It's about remembering your own agency, your ability to make a sound choice. Especially for those more challenging decisions.
If you're in a position right now where you're sorting through a dilemma, something that feels difficult and you're getting a lot of advice thrown at you, you may need some reminders:
Listen to and acknowledge the advice.
Remember, it's probably coming from a place of goodness.
Consider a few perspectives.
If you're going to listen to one person, you may as well listen to a couple!
Gather the opinions and advice.
Then get quiet and reflect.
Trust yourself, your instincts.
They're there for a reason.
You've got this. I've got your back.
Ready to have a conversation? Contact me
Cheers,
Ann
When someone says this…resist the urge to run!