Strikes, spares and misses...

Strikes, spares and misses...what does bowling have to do with building confidence...or any other skill?

This past weekend my family went bowling. All six of us for the first time ever. To be clear, I am not a "bowler" at all, in fact, the last time I went bowling was BC...you know what I'm saying...

The thing is, I couldn't stop unseeing the parallels between bowling and confidence.

In my experience? It boiled down to intention.  Stay with me here...

My intention for the entire night? Connect with my people, have some fun and food...at least initially.  I could see by the way others got going that they had a clear intention of doing well.  How could I tell?  Their posture when they grabbed the ball,  the time they took before they released the ball, all of it and, not surprisingly, they tended to get more strikes, do better overall. Initially.

Perspective -

Strikes

• In bowling it's a win, in baseball? Not so much.

  • Know where you're 'playing' - sometimes it's not about knocking down all of the pins. It's actually about showing up and trying.

Spares

• A chance for "redemption" so to speak. To try again.

  • You can knock down all of the pins the second time around and while technically that's a "spare" a couple of us argued (okay, maybe just me) that it's still a strike. What do you think?

Misses

• In order to get better at anything you have to experience the misses, the gutter balls. When you don't get one single pin.

  • Humbling and yet definitely a part of growing ANY skill. The painful beginning. The starting point.

Remember intention?

I couldn't help but notice as the night progressed, I got a little more focused and did better on a few frames when I did.  I also noticed that as we all got tired the focus shifted from winning to going through the motions. In fact a couple of us declared we were done. 

I know we're talking about bowling here and yet the parallels are there. As intentions dwindled or changed so did performance and outcomes.

When you have focus and intention, you do better, regardless of your skill level. It's just true - no matter what you may be working on.



Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...


Maybe bowling isn't your jam and I'm thinking that the lessons you can learn are universal:

You can't skip to the end and be an expert.  It doesn't work that way.

Be Patient:

• With yourself. Being new at something requires patience.

Consistency:

• Show up. 

  • Think about it. If you bowl once a year, how much will your skills improve?

Persistence

• Showing up regularly. Practicing and preparing. Knowing your outcome. All of these contribute to improving your "game", whatever it is.

Intention:

• Know what you want to get out of each and every interaction. It matters. 

Start with the end in mind. Always.

Want to learn more about how a few sessions with me can dramatically increase your confidence? Contact me  I guarantee you'll be glad you did!

Warmly,
Ann

As a Confidence Coach, I help you to be intentional in all of your interactions. Especially those where there's no "do-over". 

Strikes, spares and misses…

It's not "out there"...you gotta look inside...

Hey! Quit looking out there. It's not out there... 

"It's" in you already. Whatever it is you think you're missing, you've probably got it tucked away somewhere waiting to be rediscovered.

Sounds cliche and it's true.

What I love about the work I do is helping people uncover what they already have. They and YOU are a gold mine and somewhere along the way they/you've lost your map. My work is to help you find all those things you lost track of. How did you lose track? You got busy doing life, keeping up with whatever it is that you thought you had to keep up with...neighbours, friends, colleagues. Always looking ahead or behind to see where you were, and suddenly...you lost track...of your focus, your clarity, your confidence, your...

When we're talking about confidence, in particular, you really do have all of the skills, strengths, and capabilities you need to reconnect with your confidence. Even if it's only a tiny spark, you can build on that.

The problem with looking somewhere else for it? Your particular version of confidence is unique to you. Yes, there are Hallmarks of confidence but really, only you can decide what confidence looks and feels like for you. Feels like is probably the most accurate and useful way to connect, because, unless you've had some sort of out-of-body experience, every single thing you've ever gone through in your life has happened in your body.  It's a storehouse of powerful information for you to tap into and use as building blocks for the next thing you want.

What do I mean?

When I reflect on a time when I was confident and allow a previous experience to come to mind, I can't help but notice the following physiological changes that occur in me: 

• There's a definite deepening of my breath.

• Some tension in my shoulders and neck.

• My voice gets slower and lower.

The situation that comes up may vary but the physical sensations are always the same.

What's the big deal?

Over time and through lots of practice, I am able to tap into those "feelings" on demand.  What this means is, that whenever I catch myself heading into a situation where I may not be feeling as confident as I would like, I'm able to:

• Stop.

• Deepen my breath.

• Slow and lower my voice.

And bingo...my brain thinks ah, we're doing confidence. Cool. 

Why does this matter?

It's a skill, so you too, can learn it!  I've worked with clients who are heads of organizations, VPs, directors, and new professionals to this country, from every walk of life, and this has worked for ALL of them and it will work for you too!  

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Carve out some time this week to practice this exercise:

• Find a comfortable place where you won't be disturbed.

  • Settle in and take some deep breaths to relax. Scan through your body and notice any sensations, tingling, tension, etc. This is your baseline.

• Think of a time when you were confident.

  • The key here is to go for the low-hanging fruit...like you knew you could make a good cup of coffee this morning.

• Whatever comes to mind, trust it.

  • Your brain doesn't do random so get curious. Notice where you "feel" this confidence in your body. Notice any new sensations or where sensations may have disappeared. Pay attention to your breath and heartbeat.

• Sit with it.

  • Recognizing what your version of confidence feels like will take time...

• Practice.

  • Getting familiar with and tapping into your version of confidence takes time and practice...and it's time well spent...

If you don't have the time, or you can't get there on your own, reach out!  I'm really good at what I do.

As a Confidence Coach, I help you to be intentional in all of your interactions. Especially those where there's no "do-over". 

Want to learn more about how a few sessions with me can dramatically increase your confidence? Contact me  I guarantee you'll be glad you did!

Warmly,
Ann

It’s not “out there”…you gotta look inside…

Trust "the" process or trust "your" process...

Trust the process? I'm too impatient for that!

It's human nature to want to skip the rough parts and jump to the end and I'm no different than you. Wanting it to be easy.  I know it's a part of the process, my process, and maybe yours too.

Think about what makes for a good story...It's the dragon slaying that makes the cut, not when everything's going smoothly. We tend to share the challenges and how we overcame them. Is a story with no adventure or tension really a story? Yawn.

Last week's blog was the brutal truth about what was going on for me.  Maybe it didn't seem so brutal for you but for me? I felt like I was letting my audience down. Not delivering the value I "should" be delivering.  Who sets that standard anyway? Oh yeah...me.

Last week I had a blog about nothing because that's where I was at. I felt like I had hit some sort of dead end or roadblock. And I let the drama take over. "This is the end, I'll never have a creative idea again", and what I've learned is that when I put out there what's really going on it resonates. It resonates with you as another human being because you get those moments too I'm guessing.

So let's go there.  Let's see if you can relate.

What prevents me from putting myself out there? A few fears for sure...big surprise:

• Judgement.

  • What will they think if I don't have an idea to offer?

  • I'm supposed to be the expert so there are expectations I'm not meeting.

Let's be honest here, the judgement, the idea that I'm an expert and the expectations are all MINE! And you're no different.  We all walk around with this idea that everyone else is judging us and truthfully, most people are consumed with themselves.

Everyone feels these things from time to time. But it sucks when it's happening to you.

• I'm a fraud.

  • The fear that you're going to figure it out...that I don't know it all...and let's face it, I don't!

I live with contradiction. 

My contradiction? I know I'm really good at what I do. Truth.  Sometimes I doubt myself. Also truth. AND the two of them can exist together because as a human being no one, feels 100% on their game all of the time. 

How about you? What's your contradiction?

So what can you do?


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

What's your contradiction? Where are you rushing to skip the rough part to get to the end?

• Acknowledge.

  • Really noticing and acknowledging what's going on. You can't do anything without this step.

• Explore.

  • Ask yourself, what am I feeling about this? 

• Grace.

  • Take a break.  Allow things to come to you. Let something go if that feels right.

• Next best step.

  • Which can mean you do absolutely nothing. For me? Being honest and letting that be it. Sharing my truth with you.

Recognize it's often just a blip in the system. Trying harder doesn't work. Pausing often does. Getting your bearings and assessing.

It's about knowing the difference between trusting "the process" versus trusting "your process". My guess is that at this stage of the game, you know what works for you.  I know my process and I know it works for me...until it doesn't and that's when I take a pause and reassess. It's a practice.

How about you?  If you don't have a process that's working, reach out. Let's figure it out together. 

Want to learn more about how a few sessions with me can dramatically increase your confidence? Contact me  I guarantee you'll be glad you did!

Warmly,
Ann

Trust “the” process or trust “your” process…

I've got nothing...for real...

I am in a creative rut today and so...this is what you're getting.

Permission.

For what?

To do absolutely nothing. To phone it in. To take a break.

I have been wracking my brain and have started at least three blogs. Nothing resonated so instead of forcing or trying to be clever I'm letting you know, that, just like you, sometimes it's just not going to happen AND that's okay!


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Find a situation where you too are just not feeling it and then...cut yourself some slack.  Ask yourself:

• What's the goal here?

• If I take a break, what will happen?

• Assess.

My guess is, the world won't fall apart!

Have a wonderful week!

As a Confidence Coach, I help you to be intentional in all of your interactions. Especially those where there's no "do-over". 

Want to learn more about how a few sessions with me can dramatically increase your confidence? Contact me  I guarantee you'll be glad you did!

Warmly,
Ann

I’ve got nothing…for real…

Could you be more prepared?

Probably...

Why is preparation so important?

Think of the simple things first.

• Would you go outside in the rain without an umbrella or raincoat of some sort?

• Would you plan a camping trip without taking a look at your tent to see if there are any holes in it?

• Would you go on a road trip without putting some gas in your car?

Why would you do those things?

To ensure you have a good experience (whatever the experience may be) by mitigating what could go wrong and being proactive. Because planning and preparation matters, especially in high-stakes situations.

Yet, how many times do you leave things to chance when you're heading into high-stakes scenarios where there's a lot on the table? The equivalent of not checking your tent or getting gas...

Intentional preparation is the key to getting what you want. It doesn't mean you’ll get what you want all the time, AND I can guarantee if you DON'T prepare, you probably won't get what you want.   It's about knowing what your intention is so that when you head into that meeting or conversation you're clear about what you hope to achieve. Because here's the thing...the person who knows what they want and does the preparation before heading into a situation is more likely to achieve the outcome they want. Mic drop. 

Contrary to some schools of thought, you have to do the work to get what you want and that does require some sort of preparation. Perhaps it's reading up on the latest information regarding what you're asking for so that you have your facts straight or checking in with the counterarguments that you may be faced with.

It's never a one-and-done! Repetition. Repetition. Repetition.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Are you ready to be more prepared? Ready to stand more of a chance of getting what you want to achieve? Start by choosing one small thing you have coming up where you want to have the best chance of being successful.

Let's get started...

• Intention.

  • What do you want to achieve?

  • Remember last week's blog? Make sure you're focusing on what you WANT not what you don't want!

.

•  Do your homework:

  • There's probably one or more people in this situation. What might they want to achieve?

  • Seems obvious and yet you can get tunnel vision when you're focused on what you want.

• Practice.

  • What skills or strengths do you have that you can bring to this situation? Call them to mind.

  • Remember there's another party there. Anticipate what they may say. Practice your responses.

• Repeat.

  • I KNOW! I say this a lot!! That's because you need to practice to build a skill!!

When you start to make intentional preparation a part of your routine, you're going to notice that you start getting the results you want more consistently. Pretty cool.

A big part of what I offer as a Confidence Coach is, helping you to be intentional in all of your interactions. Especially those where there's no "do-over". 

Want to learn more about how a few sessions with me can dramatically increase your confidence? Contact me  I guarantee you'll be glad you did!

Warmly,
Ann

Could you be more prepared? Probably…

Are you being clear?

Maybe not…

...don't be late, don’t worry, don't step in the puddle, don't forget the milk...

Parents, bosses, friends, people! Are you being clear?

Are you telling people what you want or what you don't want? I'm not trying to be facetious here, we're really good at expressing what we don't want...all good information for sure, AND... how much more useful would it be to be super clear on what you DO want?

Here's a quick example of how easily and readily we do this...

I'm walking past an elementary school yard on day one of school this past week. As I do, I overhear a teacher saying to her class as they're rushing to the playground  "Don't fight over the bicycles."  I smile to myself, it's such a natural thing to say, however, the way our brains process this is, in order to "not fight", they have to think about fighting first and then think about not doing it. I know it sounds weird but any time you say don't to somebody the first thing they have to do is think about doing that thing that you don't want them to do...so the kids have to think about fighting, you have to think about forgetting the milk, about stepping in the puddle...before you get to the part about 'not' doing it...it's tricky, right?! Just a small example of how we tend to be really clear on what we don't want and maybe not so good at articulating exactly what we do want, which, let's face it, is so much easier for everyone.

How many times have you said "Don't forget to pick up the milk (or whatever it is)" It's a habit and we all do it. I want to suggest that being clear on what you want in the little things will translate over to the big things and that's going to be really useful if speaking with confidence and getting results is in your plans.

Stating what we want is so much more useful. So what could that teacher have said?

• Intention.

  • Be conscious of what action she wants the kids to take.

  • Instead of "not fighting" what would she prefer that the kids DO?

  • Articulate that to the kids. Maybe something like, remember to take turns on the bicycles.  

• Practice.

  • Being intentional is so powerful if you practice it and learn to put it into place and not just on the playground. Knowing how you want to "be" in a situation and then practicing it. e.g. clear, focused, confident, etc.

• And in the case of the milk? Instead of saying "Don't forget to pick up the milk" - maybe try "Remember to pick up the milk". 

What does this have to do with building your confidence?

One of the Hallmarks of a confident person? They're intentional. They get clear on what they want and then they practice getting it. Part of that intention is thinking through the scenario they're going to be in. Asking themselves: How do I want to show up in this situation?  Maybe drawing on their own previous experiences or modeling how they want to be on someone they know or a character in a movie who has the qualities they would like to have in that particular situation. Regardless, they work on it. A lot, until these practices become a habit.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Are you ready to be more aware of asking for what you want, whether it's a behaviour from a kid, partner, or employee or a particular result in the boardroom?

• Notice!

  • Seems obvious and it's true.  You can't do something about a habit until you know you're doing it and this linguistic habit isn't limited to one thing, you're going to notice that it shows up everywhere! So starting with noticing is a big deal.

  • This applies to what your inner voice is saying as well...a whole other blog I'm thinking...

• Intention.

  • Be conscious of what you're trying to achieve.

  • If it's action-related, ask yourself "What do I want this person to DO?" vs. "Not do".

  • Or it could be, how do you want to show up?

• Practice.

  • Practice articulating what you want before you actually say it, especially in those high-stakes situations.

  • Being intentional is so powerful if you practice it and learn to put it into place. 

  • Knowing how you want to "be" in a situation and then practicing it. e.g. clear, focused, confident, etc. until it just becomes your natural way of being.

When you start to make this change a habit, you're going to notice that you start getting the results you actually want. Pretty cool.

A big part of what I offer as a Confidence Coach is, helping you to be intentional in all of your interactions. Especially those where there's no "do-over". 

Want to learn more about how a few sessions with me can dramatically increase your confidence? Contact me  I guarantee you'll be glad you did!

Warmly,
Ann

Are you being clear? Maybe not…

It's time...to take some inventory!

The days are shorter, the nights cooler, and it's back to school.  Even if you're not going "back to school" you definitely know what I mean.  The feeling of a fresh start, new things to learn and do.  The sensation in your stomach when you know you're on to something exciting.

September,  the informal end of summer. It always brings a sense of renewal and fresh energy. The potential for new beginnings is all around you.

It's a New Year kind of feeling, and, like a New Year, September provides you with the opportunity to change direction. 

It's a great time to take some inventory.  

Have you noticed how much you've grown since January? Taking inventory is exactly like it suggests - noticing what you have and what you don't have - and not necessarily in the material sense. In fact, I'd like to suggest that it's probably the other aspects of your life that you may want to check in with that can be instrumental in deciding how you will spend your energy for the next four months. 

Here's a nudge to get you thinking...maybe some of this will resonate with you: 

• ️The time's going to pass anyway so stop settling for something you don't want, whether it's a job, relationship...whatever it is...you deserve to be fulfilled.

  • Regret is a hard pill to swallow.

• Things aren't always what you expect them to be.

  • If the plans you laid out for the year aren't working out...make adjustments, including letting them go!

• ️Acknowledge that change is scary and, in addition to the naysayers, your own biology is going to work against you.

  •  Recognize this and take a step. Even being intentional about what you want is a start.

• ️Every now and then, check in with your mindset.

  • This in and of itself can change your trajectory.  Look for the bright spots and focus on them. Then notice how more tend to show up.

Are you satisfied with how things are shaping up for 2023, or are you ready to shift gears? If a “course correction” is required, what action are you going to take? 

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

This exercise will illuminate areas that you want to focus on, which will naturally pull your attention away from the things that may not be a priority for you anymore.

• Will you take 10 minutes or so to reflect on how far you've come this year? 

  • You can think about it however, I recommend actually putting pen to paper for this and writing non-stop to let the yarn unravel. That's what happens when you write non-stop, new information is often revealed.

• Once you've done that, continue to write the ending that you want to have for 2023.

  • Same suggestion: either think about it or write non-stop for 10 minutes. You may be surprised by what surfaces on the paper for you.

• Visualize it and make it vivid. Imagine this New Year's Eve and what you want to look back on. What will tell you it was a good year for you?

  • What did you let go of this year?

  • What new things did you discover about yourself?

  • What was that brave step you took that helped you turn the corner?

  • What else?

If you keep doing what you’re doing, is this ending likely to happen? If not, take some time to think about what you need to do to finish up how you’d like. You may need to alter your plans to get there but know that you probably have more choices than you think you do. 

If you're not feeling confident about the way your year is shaping up: Contact me  I don't want you to be looking back four months from now, regretting not taking that first step.

Warmly,
Ann

It’s time…to take some inventory!

You're not a battery...you need to unplug to recharge...

You’re not a battery…you need to unplug to recharge.

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it”. Ferris Bueller.

It’s still summertime, have you taken a break yet? Something to note as we move towards "back to school/work/regular life - whatever that means for you"...Maybe Ferris Bueller was onto something here? 

There's still some time to take a pause, recharge, and reset.

Pausing to check in with yourself, is a gift that many of you don’t give yourself. When you’re on the constant treadmill of life, it can be easy to forget about taking time for yourself.

What does a pause look like?

From taking an actual vacation to finding moments in your day; a pause is a chance to step back, catch your breath, and reset.

Why does making time to pause matter? There are so many benefits:

• Getting a chance to step away from something gives you a chance to gain a new perspective on it.
  

  • Something as simple as getting up and going for a walk can be enough to refresh you and provide you with insights into a problem that you would never get if you stayed focused on it. Apparently, there’s research that shows that active rest, like pursuing a hobby, sport, or anything else where you are moving instead of sitting, boosts creativity and productivity!

• It can recharge your batteries.
  

  • When you charge an actual battery, you plug it in. But you’re not a battery! In order to recharge your human batteries you need time to rest and take breaks from screens or other environmental ‘noise’. This is ultimately what can recharge your human batteries. They say everything works better if you unplug it. Yourself included. When you do this, a funny thing can happen. You may feel refreshed and re-energized.

  • You actually can gain momentum by slowing down and taking a break. New ideas come in those moments when you’re doing something else.

• If nothing else, taking a break of any length can serve as a reset. A new baseline to move from.

So what can you do?

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Here are some suggestions to consider to refresh your energy.

Reconnect with:

• A hobby you never find time to do.

• Nature. Get out and sit by a tree or go for a walk.

• Your partner, dog, cat, or an old friend.

• Yourself. You may just find that by slowing down, you discover something new about you.

It's still summertime, truly the perfect opportunity to pause, step back, and reflect before you dive back into all of the activities that autumn can bring. Take advantage of it.

Every now and then, stop and take a look around, take in the scenery. Check-in with all of your senses. Really. Track through your body, and maybe notice your breath or balance. Listen to the sounds around you, near and far. Notice the picture unfolding around you and take in the details. All of it. Savour it. Put it into your mental bank account and then withdraw it anytime you need a quick break.

Just like Ferris Bueller said…"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it”.  And, you don't want to miss it!

Have you been thinking about chatting with me? Contact me September is a perfect time to look at change!

Warmly,
Ann

You’re not a battery…you need to unplug to recharge…

Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right... Henry Ford

Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right... Henry Ford

Love this quote. In my mind, nothing sums up mindset like this…

Mind over matter? I know... some people don't believe that it matters what, and maybe more importantly, how you think. 

This is not about toxic positivity at all.  This is about the moment-to-moment situations you may find yourself in where, for a split second,  you can make a choice.  Pretty much anytime. Given the option, why wouldn't you choose to think optimistically?

I just got back from a vacation in Northern Ontario and spent most of the time outdoors hiking. While hiking one day in a stunning and pretty rugged provincial park I ran into a group of five women who asked me to take their picture.  We started chatting and they told me that they'd been meeting up for about 29 years now to canoe, hike, and up until recently, camp. These women ranged in age from 75 to 88, and they were full-on badass. Not only physically fit, their attitude was inspiring.  What struck me about these women is exactly what I'm talking about...mindset. Doing what they do is a no-brainer for them. They come together all the way from BC to remote parts of Ontario and elsewhere....because,  as one of them said to me..." this matters, this is important". There's no question about confidence in this group, they defined it.

Mindset.*

Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right... HF


How does this relate to growing your confidence? 

• If you always call to mind the times in your life when you weren't confident then that's what your brain's gonna do...look for evidence to support that thought. That's how the Reticular Activating System (RAS) in your brain works. Whatever you focus on, it'll find evidence to support it

• Likewise,  if you're able to call to mind times when you were confident and you focus on those experiences then, your brain will accommodate that as well and start looking for more evidence to support that.

It's cool that way. 

So here's your thought for today. When you're thinking about something that you want to be, have, or do, check in with your mindset, because if you're already thinking you can't...why bother? Really. Decide to choose possibilities, confidence... choose you. Choose optimism.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Whether you're working on something new, entering a new phase in your life, or looking for something different, whatever the case may be...it matters how you're thinking.

When your brain starts to take you down the path of self-doubt and fear, here are some suggestions for you:

• Pay attention.

  • Seems obvious but we tend to go to autopilot, well, automatically, so you may not even notice that it's happening. Start to pay attention.

• Question yourself.

  • In your head or out loud. Ask yourself. Is what I'm thinking about this situation and my capabilities really true?

• Pause.

  • Wait for the answer to the question above. If you really pay attention, one will come, usually as a whisper and you may be surprised to find that what you're thinking isn't true at all. It's your autopilot response.

• Make the choice.

  • Yes, "the choice". Decide that you're going to choose an optimistic mindset this time.

• Take action.

  • My favourite way to shift my mindset. Take a step in the direction of that thing you want to have, be, or do.

• Repeat.

  • Often. This is a practice. Be gentle with yourself. That autopilot brain of yours is determined to win. Repetition of this process makes it more likely that you'll eventually be able to interrupt this pattern and gradually, ever so gently, shift your mindset.

This works. I promise. Simple but not easy. It takes commitment and awareness and you don't have to do it alone!  

If you want help learning to shift your mindset Contact me I promise you, it will make a huge difference in how you look at the world and definitely grow your confidence!

Warmly,
Ann

*One of the three pillars of my personal confidence recipe.

Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t - you’re right…Henry Ford

Keeping your head...

Keeping your head when everyone else is losing theirs isn't luck..it's a SKILL!

Keeping your cool, keeping it together when things are going sideways.  You can learn this.

I have a funny story to share with you.  A "few" years back... just four months into my new position at a new company and the morning of the day I was giving my first big presentation to the entire functional unit, this happened...

As I was running back and forth, loading my car and probably rushing my kids to get ready for daycare, a squirrel somehow managed to jump out of my mailbox and proceeded to run up the stairs, right into the bathroom where my daughter was brushing her teeth! To say it was an interesting morning is probably an understatement!  What did I do?  I ran upstairs, closed the bathroom door, and left a squirrel in my tub! I dropped my very excited kids off at daycare, headed to the office, and successfully delivered my presentation,which went off without a hitch. I think probably because I decided that what mattered most at that moment was how I showed up for that presentation. More important than worrying about the squirrel in my bathroom**.

What I didn't consciously realize then that I fully get now is that I was managing my "state"...how you, me, everyone, at any given time is "being" or showing up.

Your "state" is essentially:

• Your thoughts.

• Your physiology.

• Your feelings.

at any given time.

Just so you know, we usually operate on autopilot, not even aware of how we are feeling, thinking, or moving. This is a good thing for the most part because you want to be able to do things and not constantly be thinking about them. However, when you get knocked off balance, it's useful to be able to pivot and get intentional.

There are always going to be things that knock you off your game, whether you're at home, work, or in the grocery store and maybe they won't be as exciting as a squirrel running into your house on the morning of a big presentation! Maybe you'll have an issue with your car or you get a text from someone who irritates you or something happens and all of a sudden you're not focusing on what really matters at the moment. You get thrown off your game.

How do you manage yourself, and your state when things get a little unexpectedly chaotic?

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Like any new skill, it takes practice to show up with intention, to know how you want to be when others are losing their cool.

Here are some tips to get you started when it comes to managing yourself when sh*t hits the fan:

Imagine how you would like to show up.

• Notice your thoughts.

  • If you're in a situation where you want to keep your head, what would be useful for you to keep in mind? Literally, for you to think about, maybe it's a role model you have who is good in a crisis.

• Notice your feelings or emotions.

  • How would you like to feel? Perhaps it's focused or clear? Pick something that would be useful for you.

• Check in with your physiology.

  • This is probably the most underrated secret weapon that you have.  You can change both your thoughts and your feelings by changing your body.  Not kidding. And...it can be as simple as changing how you're breathing. Seriously. 

Once you decide how you'd like to show up...practice. How? By calling to mind real, lived experiences you've had when your thoughts, feelings, and physiology were aligned with how you want to show up. Practice each one individually and practice them one after another.  Then try them out in real situations and see what changes in how you show up.

If you want help learning this skill Contact me I promise you, it will make a huge difference in how you show up. 

Warmly,
Ann

Keeping your head when everyone else is losing theirs…is a SKILL!