That moment when you realize...

That moment when you realize that the only person you want to be...is yourself.

That doesn't mean you don't admire people that have different skills and strengths than you do. It means that you own the skills, strengths and capabilities that you have, they make you...you. That also includes your quirks and your foibles, your imperfections, your humanness...all those things. It's realizing that yes, being yourself... that's the best place you could ever be.

Some of you have been there for years, fully embracing yourself and may be thinking duh, obviously. I know that many of you are still thinking that being someone else would be nice, maybe easier perhaps.

Aspirations.

It's okay to aspire to learn something from someone, to emulate someone, to model someone...but to be them? I don't think so.

Not being you denies the world of the uniqueness of you...that's important. You are a piece of a giant puzzle, and that's why there are so many different shapes. We all have our own different shaped puzzle piece because the world needs our particular shaped puzzle piece to be complete.

Think about it. Where are you spending time today? Looking over "there" wishing you were more like that person when chances are, they're looking over at you and wishing they were more like you.

We need to understand this very important fact that keeps coming up, you're not supposed to know it all, have it all, be it all. We all know it's true...it's literally impossible. Nobody knows everything, nobody can be everything.

That's why teams are so powerful.  When you put together a group of people with a common goal and different strengths...boom! That's when magic can happen. People playing to their strengths to achieve something bigger then all of them.

Here's what often happens.

Once you put someone in the right situation, they often realize that they don't want to be someone else. They just haven't seen who they truly are, and once they see that, they realize that this is exactly who they want to be. Themselves.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Let's look at your puzzle piece...

• What makes you unique?

  • Maybe it's the environment you create without even thinking about it. People want to be around you.

• Where do you shine?

  • Think about when you're in flow, where you lose track of time and things feel effortless.

• What are your strengths?

  • This can be the things others often comment on that you do so well and you can't see it. It's so natural for you that you don't notice.

Life's too short to be a square peg trying to fit into a round hole. You'll never flourish if the fit is wrong, never be able to be you.

Don't settle. Be you. 

Want to reconnect to you?  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

That moment when you realize…being you is a good thing.

Are you struggling?

Are you struggling? 

Here's a reminder for you in case you need it. You've survived every single day up until this point in your life. The good, the bad, the challenges, the joys...all of it.

You're here now...congratulations.

How often do you stop to recognize this?  To look back, to connect the dots, to understand that every single thing that has happened, has happened for a reason. Yes that's a cliché, and there's a reason that clichés are around...although they can be overused...often they're true. 

You're here...now.

Maybe it's time to reflect, to take stock. To remind yourself of the path that has led you to here, right now. The decisions you made, or maybe those times you chose to let someone else make a decision for you. All of those small things that have gotten you to the now that is your life.

Of course there are going to be many things that have occurred that you had no control over but...you always had a choice...how you responded, what you did with those challenges. Even if you think you didn't...

So...now what?

Where in your life is it time to reflect, to check in? To appreciate that the "struggle" just might have been a gift in disguise. A nudge to change direction.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...


If you're struggling right now, maybe it's a good time to look back at another time in your life when you struggled, where things have resolved, you've moved forward.

Pick one specific situation...a relationship, your career, your health...whatever bubbles up.

Ask yourself:

• What did this struggle teach me?

  • There's always a lesson to be learned if you're open to it.

• How did this experience shift the trajectory of my life?

  • Would this shift have been possible without the struggle?

• What am I grateful for?

  • Think about something you have in your life right now that's a direct result of moving through this struggle...now imagine your life without it.

How does this change the way you think about your current struggle?

We all struggle from time to time, that's a given. Choosing to change direction, take another path? That's up to each and every one of us.

"At any given moment you have the power to say: This is not how the story is going to end." Christine Mason Miller

Time to switch direction? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

Are you struggling?

I know you know and...

Put your own oxygen mask on first.

This advice is critical...critical if you want to ensure that you're ready to take on things that are going to challenge you.

As I acclimatize to my new situation, nothing has become more important than this. Remembering that my state - how I show up - rides heavily on taking the time to get my head straight first thing in the morning.

Can you relate?

So...what does my oxygen mask look like?

I thought I'd share some of the practices I utilize and I'd love to hear from you...how do you ensure that you're taking care of yourself before you step into your day?

Don't have a routine? Maybe this will be beneficial for you. Take or leave...

• It starts the night before!

  • Get a good night's sleep, which includes winding down without screens, practicing activities that relax you...including reading an actual book, or some breathing techniques…find what works for you.

In the morning?

• Start with some quiet time.

  • It doesn't have to be long. Take three deep breaths before you get out of bed. Spend maybe five minutes listening to one of the many meditation apps out there.

• Move your body.

  • A quick 10 minute walk, some stretching or my personal favourite...put some music on and dance. Get your blood moving.

• Be intentional. 

  • How do you want to show up? Confident? Competent? Curious? Look at the day ahead and decide. This is key. Getting clear. 

What about throughout the day?

• Take breaks in your day.

  • Movement "snacks" - walk around your office space. Even better? Get outside.

  • Stepping away, even briefly can give you perspectice and help with problem solving.

• Actually disconnect for lunch!

  • What?! I know. I see very clearly that this is not happening and also see the inevitable risks - overwhelm and fuzzy thinking.

  • As a leader, it's critical that I'm demonstrating this.

Have an unwinding strategy after work.

• Find a way to separate from your work.

  • Prepare a meal with your partner; get outside (I know...I repeat this and it's because it's so important!), walk your dog, call a friend. 

  • Be kind to yourself. At the end of the day...work is work.

What's your strategy?


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge... 

Look at the list above. Pick one...maybe two small things to start doing now.
I guarantee you'll feel better, and if you're concerned about taking time away from other things? These "things" will actually benefit in the long run...

Remember...

You can only push for so long before your body, your mood, your motivation, and ultimately your health...hit a wall.

Take care of yourself first. Always.

Need some help? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

I know you know…and…are you doing it?

Mixed emotions?

It is with mixed emotions...

What comes to mind when you read that?

Years ago...close to ten...I vividly recall starting an email this way.  Now* I find myself saying the same thing...this time...to me.

Mixed emotions, bittersweet...words we use to categorize something that’s a state of experiencing conflicting or contradictory feelings about a situation or someone. 

Make sense?

• You can be happy for something and still be sad.

• Excited and still scared.

• Know that it's meant to be and still want to hold on to something else.

It's the awareness and acknowledgement that matters...is necessary.

Managing those feelings and recognizing the truth of the lyrics "Closing time, every new beginning
comes from some other beginning's end..." by Semisonic

Moving forward to exciting things while ensuring that there's a celebration of what got you there.

Natural progression. A new chapter doesn't mean the others aren't valid, it means that you're adding to your story.

Evolving. Growing.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Are you on the cusp of something that's creating "mixed emotions" in you? That's good! That means you're ready to grow, to learn, to evolve.

Here are some suggestions (take or leave) if you're in this position. Even if you're not in this position, hopefully, you’ll experience this in the future. Yes! Hopefully, because that means you're still willing to grow.

Remember:

• You can be happy for something and still be sad.

  • It's recognizing that the contradictory feelings are normal.

• Excited and still scared.

  • Anything that's going to grow you should scare you!

• Know that it's meant to be and still want to hold on.

  • Remember to celebrate what got you here.

Your story belongs to you. Holding the pen, writing the script, is your job. Not knowing exactly where it's heading? That's what makes it an adventure!

Need help managing your "mixed emotions"...  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Mixed emotions?

Self promotion...icky?

Can we talk for a minute about self-promotion?

Self-promotion carries with it, whether we'd like to admit it or not...a stigma. "Oh, they're so full of themselves. Look at them tooting their own horn." ...many comments along those lines, when, in fact, the only way for people to understand your particular skills, strengths, and capabilities is for you to tell them!

And of course...this tends to be more prevalent with women, which is why:

• They miss out on opportunities.

• They don't apply for the position because they don't tick every box.

• They wait for someone else to tell someone else about how good they are.

And then, no surprise here...they miss the boat. They miss the boat on opportunities that they're capable of but they didn't have the confidence to declare what they have to offer. This needs to stop.

One of the most common reasons I hear for this behaviour?

It feels like bragging.

Here's what actually happens when you're promoting yourself - you're telling the truth about yourself...and if something's true, you're not bragging, you're stating facts.

I'm gonna go out on a limb here. If you were socialized as a female, chances are people pleasing and seeking approval, we're on the menu. Don't get too loud. Don't get too big for your boots. All those different sayings, and if that wasn't your experience...that's amazing!

However, I've seen enough women in my coaching practice to substantiate this information. Not speaking up or promoting themselves because of the perception that others will not like it.


What does this create?

• It creates individuals who are afraid to talk about their skills, strengths and capabilities.

• It teaches us to tamp down who we are because we don't want to make other people feel smaller.

What a load of crap...the ultimate achievement for all of us is to be ourselves and support others in doing the same.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Whether you're a woman or a man, it's time to reframe "self-promotion".

Let's start with some of the many definitions of "self promotion" that are out there:

• Attempting to present yourself to others as an accomplished, capable, smart, and skilled person.

• Your sense of personal identity and of who you are as an individual.

• When an individual tells or shows others their accomplishments, skills, and talents.

The benefits?

• You're letting people know about your exciting projects or what you're learning on the job and this can be a way to teach, connect, and collaborate with others.

Self-promotion is essential for relevance in a competitive and easily distracted work environment...you can't expect your work to speak for itself...you have to be the voice for it.

Nothing icky here...it's a skill...which is good news. You can learn any skill if you want to.

So get out there...toot your horn!!

Need help shifting your mindset...  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Self promotion…icky?

Don't take things so seriously...seriously!

Don't take things so seriously...no one gets out of here alive!

It's so easy to get caught up in your day to day "stuff" especially when you have responsibilities, jobs, things that feel really important, your deliverables, all that good stuff.

The thing that we can lose track of and often do, is that there's a lot of other things outside of that that aren’t just equally important, but maybe more important? The things that we tuck away to the side, because perhaps they're not as pressing and therefore don't feel as important, or we don't make them as important...your families, friends, your interests, heck yourself! And, like it or not, the fact that none of us can avoid is...none of us is getting out of here alive, right?

It was just about a year ago when I was slapped in the face with this reality. Losing a dear friend. Nothing puts things into perspective more instantly than an experience like that.

As time moves on, I challenge myself to keep this perspective.  It's so easy to fall back into old habits and behaviours.

So what do you and I need to do to balance things??

Take the things you need to take seriously, seriously, and then draw a line somewhere, set some boundaries.

Remember that most of us...unless you actually are a paramedic, a nurse, or some sort of physician...aren't saving lives directly. Yes, your work may have an impact on that, and at the end of the day...paramedics, nurses and physicians also need to draw a line as well...have boundaries.


What can this look like?

• Incorporate more of what's important to you that's not work into your daily life.

• Find space for your hobbies, quiet time, self-reflection, spending time with people you love.

• Do more things that energize you...things that fulfill you.

It can be a tall order. Especially when you can get caught up in the importance of who you think you are and what you're "doing". Pulling away from that can feel difficult. However, if, with full awareness, staying where you're at IS what matters...then go for it. I wanted to prompt you, to remind you...that there's so much more.

So now, what?


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Are you in need of some sort of reality check? Even if you think you aren't...take a moment now to consider these reminders:

• Take stock, now.

  • Maybe for you, everything is aligned. You're doing all the things you want to do, including the things you love and all is well...bravo! You have balance and are happy and satisfied most of the time.

  • Maybe you're in a position where things aren't where you want them to be, you're in a constant state of overwhelm and wishing you had more time for the things that recharge and energize you...this is a chance for you to check-in. Perhaps to set some much needed boundaries.

• Knowing it is key.

Recharging and participating in activities that energize you is what will allow you to be able to give more to your work responsibilities, creates less resentment, and adds more balance. 

Life's short and truly is precious...so make sure that you're happy with how it's playing out for you.

Need some help figuring it out? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

Don’t take things so seriously…seriously!

Barking up the wrong tree?

Have you been barking up the wrong tree?

What a funny expression! Barking up the wrong tree...chasing something that might not be yours to chase or maybe isn't even where you're looking. Picture the dog at the foot of the tree thinking the squirrel's there when it's already moved on to the telephone pole.

The best time to realize this? Before you go all the way there and get it.  Realizing before you get there and course correct.

What are some signs you're barking up the wrong tree?

• Frustration.

  • Maybe you've been somewhere too long and it's not giving you what you want or need anymore.

• Irritation.

  • You're finding that the things that used to be engaging are now a source of irritation.

• Just not "feeling it" anymore.

  • Try as you might, you're not as jazzed as you used to be about that thing.

The "feeling it" part matters.

Your default is to go up into your head. To rationalize it, to explain to yourself why doing what you're doing is what you're supposed to be doing. Doing this despite your heart and oftentimes your gut screaming at you to let you know that's not what it wants.

Trying to assimilate somewhere where you don't belong. Even if you're just realizing it now.

That's okay, realizing that you're somewhere that's become a little too small for you or where your aspirations aren't being fulfilled is the first step in assessing where you want to go next. Because knowing what you don't want is the first step. But it's not enough. You have to have an idea of where you want to go, and often knowing what you don't want is a really good pointer. It's information that's leading you towards the things that matter for you.

Now what?


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge... 

Are you barking up the wrong tree? Maybe you're not feeling frustration or irritation, for you it could be something else.

Maybe it's a good time to pause and reflect here...to find out what this brings out in you.

• The best way to do this?
  

  • Remember a time when you realized that you were in the wrong job, relationship, location, anything that when you look back you had that moment of recognition.

• Notice how you felt when you knew something wasn't for you. 

  • Maybe there's tension in your body. Tightness in your chest or an ache in your belly. Pay attention.

• What cues are there for you to recognize?

  • This is important. You're learning how to read your own body and often, your body knows before your brain does.

Stepping away from something, someone, a group, a situation, can be tricky.  Learning the signs that it's time...that's gold.


Need some help? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

Are you barking up the wrong tree?

Are you ready?

How do you know?

For me...readiness is often something I feel in my body. When I think of readiness, I think about being at the start line of a race and I have this feeling in my chest, this pulling forward...excitement, energy, and maybe some butterflies...all of that.  And, in that moment I know I'm ready.  While I haven't been at the start line of a race for a very long time...that's still the feeling I associate with being ready.

What's also true is that readiness has to be a conscious decision. You can have all the facts, all the information, but at some point you've got to decide...which way are you going to go?

When you've made that decision...that's the opportunity to check-in with your body. To ensure the decision is congruent with your heart and your gut first...leave your head out of it for a minute.

Here's something I like to do with clients when they're struggling to make a decision: I ask them to remember a time when they made a decision they were satisfied with...and to keep it little....something simple. The thing is…the feeling of readiness is mostly consistent. Allowing yourself to feel what's going on in your body...letting your head take a back seat. Focusing on what your heart and gut are feeling...that's the information you're after.

Then we go deeper about the decision they have to make - pros, cons, what's getting in their way. Eventually we get to a point where they do make a decision. We don't stop there. I'm a big believer in testing out decisions.
It's about testing that decision against what they already know...how readiness feels for them. Checking in again after they've done the work is what confirms that it's the right decision.

How do you make decisions?


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge... 

Is there a decision you've been sitting on the fence about?  It could be big or small.The process is the same:

• Step 1.

  • Get quiet, take a breath. Call to mind an experience in your life where you felt ready. Notice the information that's there.

• Step 2.

  • If you're doing this on your own, prepare a "pros and cons" list and then review it.

• Step 3.

  • Make a decision. Pick one item from your list that you're going to do.

• Step 4.

  • Check in with your body and notice what it's telling you about the decision you're making. Is it a go or a no/go?

Repeat this with all of your options.

This is something that involves practice and it's a cool way to get yourself to think about something before you commit to a decision.

Need some help? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

Are you ready?

Is it all about you?

Is it all about you? It's complicated...

It's not about you and it's all about you. It's tricky.

Let's face it when we're in situations we are always looking at it from our own perspective, our own lens, our feelings, our emotions, all of our experiences and thoughts. Of course we are!

Everything comes into play. You can lose track of the fact that in any situation, whether it's with one other person or a room full of people, every single person there is doing the same thing...they're looking at it through the lens of their own thoughts, emotions and experiences. Ah, humans.

You wouldn't be human if you didn't consider a situation from your perspective. However, it can be a bit of a pitfall, especially in situations where someone else may be experiencing something that you know nothing about and you either:

• Look at their behaviours and you make it about you.

  • We've all done that...and it's not useful. Human...and not useful.

• That's when we start to say, if I was in their shoes I'd... 

  • All that sort of stuff that comes out and when you forget that you're not them, they're not you.

• You jump to conclusions...

  • And think you know exactly how to "fix" or advise on the situation.

It's tricky.

Two pieces of advice from the book "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz that I particularly like and remind myself of.  You may find them helpful as well...

• *Don't make assumptions.

  • "Find the courage to ask questions and to ask for what you really want."

• *Don't take things personally.

  • "Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality."

This reminds us that being curious about getting clear can prevent unnecessary confusion and lowers the natural inclination to think that someone else's situation, behaviour etc. is about you.

Rather than jumping to conclusions, advice or solutions. Ask questions first.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Instead of making it about you...

• Separate your feelings, opinions, judgement etc.

  • Ask yourself: What is it about this situation, person etc. that's bringing up these feelings   opinions etc. in ME.

• When you examine it from this perspective you're probably going to discover that something is bumping up against a value that you hold or an experience you've had..it always circles back to you...of course.

  • Remember, the situation is still not about you. 

• You have to let people be who they're going to be and then you choose how you're going to be. 

  • Simple but not even remotely easy.

Need help managing this...  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Is it all about you?

Everything is temporary...

Everything is temporary......

If you're going through something right now, and it's really crappy...you can trust that eventually you're going to return to your baseline.

Conversely, if you're riding a high and things are amazing, that too will eventually settle down and you'll again return to your baseline.

It's what we do.

The interesting question might be, what's your baseline and why does it matter?

When I'm referring to baseline, I'm talking about your mindset. How you operate pretty much all of the time, how happy you are, how you view your world on a regular Tuesday afternoon. If that's in good shape...then, as you were...if not?

That's where the work begins. Shifting your mindset, because your mindset is the lens that filters your world...creates the reality you experience.

What's your lens like?

There's a term "rose-coloured glasses" for a reason. I'm sure you've met people like that. Everything's always great...unrealistic...but you understand what kind of lens they have. 

And...you've probably met people where everything's doom and gloom. They're always looking for the cloud. Equally unrealistic but also a lens nonetheless.

Let's talk from the perspective of optimism and resilience, which are very much linked to your mindset.

To be clear, being optimistic has nothing to do with "rose coloured" glasses. It's the ability to recognize, especially when things aren't going great, that it will get better, that you have everything you need to ensure that that happens. 

Why does this matter? When shit hits the fan, or when that high lowers, where do you land? What's your baseline?

Mindset shifts. That's what it takes to reframe how you see the world. To alter that lens so that it's not always looking for doom and gloom.

Optimism creates resilience...resilient people are optimistic. Coincidence?

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

What IS your baseline...the place you return to after the crap dissipates or the high is done?

• Rose coloured glasses?

• Doom and gloom?

• Somewhere in-between?

Not happy with your baseline?

Here are some small mindset hacks to help you up your game:

• Shift your language.

  • If you find yourself using language like: I never, it always, I can't, it's them...

  • Start noticing.

  • Ask yourself: Is this really true?

• Reframe how you look at things.
  

  • If you tend to look at challenges from the lens of "I can't" ...

  • Start noticing.

  • Instead of saying "I can't" add "yet" to the end of that statement.

• Ask for feedback.

  • If you truly want to change your baseline mindset...

  • Enlist some truth tellers to give you feedback.

  • Be open and receptive.

Shifting your mindset to a more optimistic one is the key to building your resilience. This doesn't mean that "bad" things don't happen...it means that you're able to move through them more quickly. You return to your "baseline" and from that perspective you're able to decide your next best move.

You CAN do it.

Need some help figuring it out? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

Everything is temporary…