It is what it is.
Acceptance, avoidance, or?
This can sound like defeat, settling, avoidance, and sometimes...acceptance.
A number of years ago I worked with someone who routinely used this statement. It just fell out of their mouth...routinely. It came across as flippant, dismissive, and upon reflection I now realize it was avoidance.
If only I knew then...
Years later, my focus with clients always starts with mindset. The way they describe themselves, others, or situations. The agency they have that they don't recognize. Where they give their power away or settle. Things that they usually don't notice, initially.
It can be sneaky.
In a recent conversation with a new connection we were laughing about the fact that we were a full foot apart in height. Of course the person I was speaking with was talking about how long they had wished that they were shorter and me at a strapping 5'1" on a good day, was lamenting how, for years, all I wanted to be was taller. We had a good laugh. "It is what it is" we decided. Sometimes we truly can't do anything about a situation.
What does this have to do with mindset?
Most things that we come across we do have some say in...even if, at the very least, it's the ability to choose how we're going to look at something. Our attitude. But when you routinely declare that "it is what it is" you're shutting down the opportunity to influence, take a stance, make change. It can come across as giving up or settling. Not necessarily intentionally and when it's a habit, it can become who you are.
"It is what it is" sometimes has to be the starting point. If you're blindsided by a situation sometimes that's exactly what it has to be, until you know which direction to put your foot next.
Used judiciously it's definitely a form of acceptance...overused...it becomes dismissing, avoidant or dare I say a form of throwing in the towel...settling.
What do you think?
Are you ready?
Let's get to it...
Your challenge...
Where in your life right now are you in a particular situation where you've decided "it is what it is"?
Trust that if something came up it's relevant and maybe needs another look.*
Ask yourself:
Is there a possibility that you've settled for something?
Sometimes it just seems easier to suck it up then make the effort.
Maybe it's just not worth it.
Are you handing your power to someone else?
Let's face it, sometimes not taking the steering wheel feels like the only option.
What's it costing you?
Is there something you're trying to avoid?
There's that saying "what you resist persists"...avoidance is similar.
Instead of trying to duck the situation, come face to face with it - maybe that thing is more solveable than you thought.
Or...upon reflection, is it acceptance?
Somethings really are out of your control.
There are no right or wrong answers. Just insights.
Is it more than what it is? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.
Cheers,
Ann
*Confidence *Mindset *Performance Coach *Author
www.steppingstonecoaching.ca
*A disclaimer here: I'm not referring to something that is truly out of your hands and other than your attitude about it, there's really nothing you can do.
“It is what it is”…acceptance or avoidance?