What are you tolerating and other challenging questions...
Have you ever been asked a question that left you squirming a bit? Not because it was inappropriate but because it brought up an emotional response you weren't expecting. It prompted you to look at something from a different angle or to look at something period.
As a coach, my job is to ask the question that unveils information my client has never thought of. A new perspective to consider. An angle that's just off side and they can't see it.
When the response is a look of bewilderment, silence, or my personal favourite, the response "I've never thought about that before." I know we're getting somewhere exciting. Why? Because it's revealing new information to consider. Another lever to pull. A door suddenly appearing.
Let's explore the question: "What are you tolerating?" It can be confronting to think that you're unaware that you're tolerating something and...before you get all judgey on yourself, let's dig in.
Tolerance feels different when you consider the “why”. The reason you may be putting up with something may be very reasonable for you when you explore the reason underneath. Your particular circumstances.
That's why it's such a good question.
It's so powerful because it's not so much about what you're tolerating...it's why. The reason underneath.
The fact is that sometimes tolerating something is exactly the right decision.
It’s about weighing out the pros and cons and finding that the cost of tolerating something is way less than the cost of getting out of that situation.
Maybe it's the job where you see light at the end of the tunnel so you're willing to put up with more.
Or the heatwave ...you'll ride it out because it's temporary and you can't change it. And, you can change your behaviour to make it more tolerable.
Maybe you do the math and there are no other options for you, so you decide to stick it out.
Now can you see why a challenging question is a good one to ask? It can unearth new information that can open up conversation and change.
Ready to explore what you're tolerating?
Are you ready?
Let's get to it...
Your challenge...
Just for fun and practice, ask yourself: "What am I tolerating right now?" And perhaps more importantly, why?
Let the answer unravel and see what you discover. If the 'why' is acceptable to you, great! Some signs it's acceptable might be that it leaves your dignity, your peace, you, intact. All's good in the hood.
However, if it drains you more than it uplifts you, maybe it's time to get curious. Is it worth it?
Looking for support? Contact me
Cheers,
Ann
What are you tolerating and other challenging questions…