In the middle of a storm?

If you're in the middle of a storm, here's some perspective for you...

When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about." Haruki Murakami

Whatever your "storm" may be, when you're in the middle of it, the one thing that you're definitely missing is perspective. The ability to understand that this will pass. That every storm you weather becomes a story you tell later. That the lessons you gain from the storm can be life altering.

You gain wisdom when you're open to moving through something knowing that it's temporary and...everything is temporary. 

I feel like I've recently come out of a hurricane and here are some of the things I've noticed that may be helpful for you:

• You're not necessarily going to notice it right away.

  • When you get used to something you can lose perspective.

• It may be a slow realization...the wind has subsided and the sun's coming out.

  • It can creep up slowly.

• There's a wash of relief that may come over you.

  • The day you thought would never come, did.

I'm filled with gratitude right now. I know I'm in the right place, that I made a good decision. I chose well. Despite the storm that came with it.

Here's the thing about choice, it doesn't mean that it comes without challenges...the "storms"...and it's remembering that deep down, there's a reason for the choices you make.

Despite the sometimes inevitable storms, your decisions, your choices, are yours to make and you're far more capable than you think.


In the middle of a storm right now?

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Are you in the middle of a storm right now? It's hard to have perspective when you're in the middle of something. 

• Get perspective.

  • For you, that may look like asking for help from a friend, partner, or co-worker.

  • Sharing the storm can make it less daunting.

• Look for the glimmers.

  • No matter the storm, there will always be glimmers if you look closely.

  • Maybe it's a small win with your kid, your boss, yourself.

• Know that this is temporary.

  • I'll repeat that for you...this is temporary.

  • All things eventually subside, settle, pass.

Remember:  "When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about." Haruki Murakami

This is the gift of the storm. Becoming the stronger, more resilient "you"...the person you never would have discovered without this storm. Remember that. 

Are you in a storm? Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

In the middle of a storm?

Is it a distraction or an opportunity?

Distraction or opportunity?

In this noisy, warp speed world that we live in, it can be incredibly difficult to discern between distractions and what may, in fact, be opportunities...

When it's one email after another, one social media post after another, one task after another...interruptions ...all that noise can pile up. People's opinions, ideas, just saying this makes me feel a little bit edgy.

How can you possibly think…stand back…discern??  How's this possible with all the noise? How do you tell what may be a piece of information or a nugget to explore?

Oh I don't have the answer to these questions...I'm looking for them!

How do you data mine in this world? How do you make sure that you are focusing on the really important things, whether it's at home, work...anywhere you are...any situation.

Taking a step back often helps. Literally or figuratively taking a step back allows you to see the landscape...to see everything that's going on, not just the thing right in front of you. Perspective.

Allowing yourself alone time...time to process. For me? It's definitely getting out in nature...going for a walk and just absorbing the sounds of the water, the birds, the wind, the leaves. Probably - 99% of the time -when I get my best ideas or solutions.

Problem solving. 

When you're in the middle of something and distracted by all the noise, it's really hard to see solutions. When you get out and about or switch gears and have a conversation with someone about something else, that's when it pops. That's when you can see the opportunity that you weren't able to see when you were in the thick of it.

Distraction gets a bad rap, and I want to argue that within the distractions that you face daily are often really useful pieces of information.

Clean up your world. Minimize distractions. Notice what bubbles to the surface. 

How do you view distractions? Do you even know you're distracted? In our world it's the norm.

Ready to make some time?

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...


Take some time, some quiet time. Whether that's sitting in stillness, getting out for walk, or doing whatever you do...allow your mind to wander.

• Take some time to notice.

  • When are you distracted?

• What specifically is distracting you?

  • A particular idea or ideas that keep coming up?

• Pay attention.

  • The very nugget you've been looking for may be right there - the opportunity.

When you're continually distracted by the same thought or ideas, get curious...your opportunity may be right there in front of you.

Distraction getting in your way? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

Is it a distraction or an opportunity?

Are you consistent? It will show...

Are you consistent? It will show…

I remember working with a personal trainer many years ago. The first thing he said to me? "Be consistent, show up and do the work. It'll pay off in the long run."  He was right, many years later, I can appreciate the benefits of consistently showing up…especially when I didn't feel like it, doing one little thing...sustaining a habit.

The good news here?  Consistency applies to ANY goal.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” Aristotle

Yes, anything we repeatedly do, over time, will end up "showing". I remember attending a celebration of life several years ago and reconnecting with some people I hadn't seen in many years The amazing thing about not seeing people for that length of time? You can tell, rather quickly, who prioritized their health and wellness. From a purely observational stance - it showed.

I use this example to illustrate that anything you do repeatedly will be evident over time...maybe not as obvious to others but definitely obvious to you...

Apply this to anything you want to achieve. A mindset shift? Growing your confidence? Becoming happier or healthier...whatever matters to you.

Consistency - where you are today, is a sum total of all your decisions and habits over time.

Satisfied with where you are? Great! If not, good news...the way you got here, is the same way you can get to where you want to be. It's not too late...you're not too old, too young or too whatever the story is that you're telling yourself.

Small habits and decisions over time, will result in change. It's like compounding interest…over time…tiny, consistent, steps will result in transformational change.

The kind of change that doesn't happen overnight...but by being consistent in your practices, putting in daily action.

Small sustainable practices will morph over time.



Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...


Pick a goal that you don't seem to be getting traction on, one that you're willing to invest in now. Keep it simple and small. 

Commit to taking daily action. It could be as simple as:

• Googling "how to" get started on that thing.

• Writing down three tangible steps you can take.

• ...and then...taking the first one.

It's always a good time to start. Start now. Today.


Ready to start?  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Are you consistent? It will show…

Things going sideways?

Things going sideways?  That's not necessarily a bad thing...

Often people think my blogs are inspired by some crazy deep experience, and that's not always the case...although there's nothing random about the things we decide to pay attention to either. This blog...was inspired by a duck. Yep,a duck. I was on a walk, and saw a duck in the creek drifting sideways through the water. 

For some reason it inspired me to write this and it ended up being surprisingly useful for me.

Maybe it'll be useful for you too...

• The idea of different perspective...

  • If you're facing something head on and finding you're not getting anywhere, maybe a change in view is in order. 

  • Turn around. Notice something in your environment that you've lost track of.

  • When you're sideways versus looking straight ahead, what do you see now? 

• Going with the flow...

  • Making it easier like the duck was...working with the situation instead of against it.

  • How often do you struggle with something when letting go and accepting is also an option. 

• Being solo...

  • What's the benefit of being with your own thoughts? 

  • It's easy to get caught up in the noise of other people's opinions and ideas... not that these aren't important. However, it's sometimes in our own company, our own space, where clarity comes.

Mull this over.

Where right now in your life, could you benefit from looking at something from a slightly different perspective? Whether it's looking at it from a new angle, surrendering rather than struggling, or just spending some time with your own thoughts... 


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

This was short and sweet today and surprisingly powerful. The suggestions may seem obvious and it's often the obvious that you can overlook.

Stop...think of a situation where you've been feeling like you're going against the current…facing it head on and not getting anywhere, or there's just so much external "noise" that you can't hear your own thoughts...

Here's an invitation for you...

Ask yourself:

• Where might turning in a slightly different direction be useful? 

• What if you stopped fighting and let it be what it is?

• How could some "alone" time bring clarity?

You might be surprised how these three simple questions can provide a new way forward. With perspective, ease and clarity.

Try it...

Looking for a different perspective? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

Things going sideways? That’s not necessarily a bad thing…

How do you leave people feeling?

How do people feel when they walk away from you? It matters...

I've been a coach for almost 10 years and I know how important it is that people feel more resourceful after a coaching session with me.

That doesn't mean they don't have to work to get there.

What does that mean? I don't solve their problems, it means I help them tap into their own resources, their skills, strengths, and capabilities that they've lost track of. They just need a reminder, a nudge.

Now, as a leader of a team in a corporate environment, I find myself doing the same thing. My role is not to do their job. My role is to develop them, to grow them, to help them reach their potential. That means helping them to find their own resources, their skills, strengths and capabilities. Leaving them more equipped than when they come into a one on one meeting with me. Essentially, elevating them and working my way out of a job...that's what good leaders do... they create more leaders.

You might be thinking, I'm not a coach or I'm not a leader in an organization, while that may be true...you also interact with people in your daily life. Your partner, kids, siblings, work colleagues, parents, friends, maybe it's the cashier at the grocery store.

You are always leaving someone with a feeling after you have an interaction with them... and my question to you is, how would they describe how they feel after having an interaction with you? Lifted, lighter, calm, stressed, these are all things to consider.

What what kind of breadcrumb trail do you leave?

It matters.

Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Time for some reflection or perhaps an assignment, if you're up to it. 

If you're working on building your "people" skills, and you want to be more aware of your impact on others here's something to consider. Pick one situation or interaction you've recently had and ask yourself the following questions:

• How did this person feel when we started our interaction?

  • Based on your "assumption"...because you don't truly know how they felt.

• How did I help them become more resourceful in this interaction?

  • Did you give advice, or did you help them come to their own conclusion?

• What resources did you notice in them that you acknowledged?

  • Often people can't see their own strengths and capabilities.

• How did this person feel after your interaction?

  • Lifted deflated, more resourceful, less resourceful?

These are good questions to ask yourself whether you're a leader, coach, friend or colleague. How you treat someone, how you leave them feeling, matters. 

Want to leave a better breadcrumb trail...  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

How do you leave people feeling?

Another moment when...

Another moment when...

You realize and appreciate that you don't have to have it all figured out...and it's so freaking liberating!

So liberating to know that other people have the answers to the questions you have...

It's built into our DNA to want help others.

When you're navigating something new,  remember there truly are many people out there who want to help you...want you to succeed!

I've been a long time believer in focusing on your strengths, because that's where you can shine. I understand what my strengths are, and I'm recognizing the strengths of the people around me and capitalizing on that.

Why am I telling you this?

Because I like to think that as I learn these lessons, I can share my learnings with you.

Don't think for one second that I assume that you don't already know this lesson, but you know what? Sometimes we could all use a little reminder.

...and that's what I'm doing right now. Giving you a reminder to focus on what you do well and to reach out to those around you who can support you...and who you can support... because they don't know everything either.

It takes a village...

They don't have all the strengths you have. It circles all the way back to that part of the bigger puzzle that you are. You are significant and important and so is your contribution, but you can't contribute to an empty vacuum, you have to be part of something bigger.

No matter where you are now, whether your challenge is something that feels personal, it's a relationship challenge, or a particular work situation, these principles apply.

No one has it all figured out...this we know...and you can find people who have pieces of information and experience that you don't have, people who can help you out. Whether you're planning an event, you've just had a new addition to your family, or an unexpected life hurdle put in your path, there are people out there who are more than happy to provide you with your missing puzzle pieces. To fill in the gaps that you can't.



Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

They say it takes a village and it's true. 

Don't have a village?

• Create one.

• Look for someone who's five steps ahead of you and ask them for help.

• Proactively, be that puzzle piece for someone else.

You'd be surprised how many doors open for you when you take the first step and help someone else. It's in your DNA...

Time to explore what's possible for you? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

Another moment when you realize…

What have you put on hold?

What have you put on hold?

I know I've put something on hold…and I'm okay with it... because I asked myself a few questions that provided me with some true clarity.

How about you? Are you continually putting that same thing on hold?

Are you ready to get some clarity?

Let's go!

While I'm a big fan of writing down the answers to questions, I didn't in this particular exercise...and if you feel that's useful, which I believe it truly is, grab yourself a piece of paper and something to write with.

Think about that thing that you're constantly thinking about but not taking action on. It could be anything. It's taking up bandwidth in your brain, but for some reason, you're just not getting around to doing it. It seems to be on hold indefinitely.

Got something? Great. Now explore the following questions:

What am I resisting?

• It could be making a change you don't want to make, that feels like it’s been imposed on you.

What limitations have I put on myself, or this thing that I want, that cause me to continually put it on hold?

• Maybe you don't think you have the skills you need to do that thing. Maybe you think it's not important enough yet. You'll get to it when it's more of a priority.

And the biggie...what am I afraid of?

• This is a loaded one. What fears are getting in the way? It may not be totally obvious right away.

Now...the litmus test. One I routinely use on myself and with clients.



Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

The litmus test? Fast forward a couple of years...

From this vantage point notice:

• Are you truly resisting, or is this thing really not for you?

• Were the limitations accurate, or excuses to keep you stuck?

• How significant is the fear from this perspective?

And the most powerful question?

• Will I regret putting this on hold?

Regret. When you do this exercise you can circumvent regret. Usually, you don't regret the things you did, taking action. You tend to regret allowing what can look so unimportant in the rearview mirror from stopping you from doing that thing. 

What's different now about that thing you keep putting on hold?

Time to take action? Don't know where to start? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

What have you put on hold?

When everything's important...

When everything's important...nothing's important.

It's kind of like being in the middle of the forest and trying to distinguish the trees. It's hard to do when this warp speed world that we live in demands that we assign importance equally to everything. This can be super tricky, especially when you're trying to determine what truly matters versus, what's just noise...and there's a lot of noise out there.

How do you know what to put on the back burner versus what really needs attention? The thing that's ready to come to a boil.

Where do you take a gamble and drop a ball and hope for the best?

You hope that the balls you've dropped are balls that were safe to drop...that the impact won't be too serious. And let's face it...It matters more in some places in your life than others. But the weight of this can feel quite heavy if you don't know which ball to keep juggling and which ball is safe to drop...and typically you don't find out until after it's happened.

Ugh.

It's only through 20/20 hindsight, that you get the lesson...understand the purpose...see the dots connecting. Notice which balls you should've held on to...and which ones were safe to drop.

That's just how it works.

Being willing to gamble a bit. You win some and you're gonna lose some. Hopefully with time, experience and wisdom, you become an expert...you're a better gambler.

And in the meantime?

Remembering that every expert was once a beginner, they dropped balls and sometimes the important ones.That's where wisdom comes from...the mistakes, not the successes.

If you're a beginner in some area of your life right now, if you keep at it…it will get better, that's pretty much guaranteed. If you're an expert in something...remember what it was like to be a beginner.

Both the beginner and the expert could use the same thing...a little bit of patience...one with self and the other...with others.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

It's super difficult when you're in the middle of that forest to recognize the particular trees you should have been paying attention to and maybe appreciating the ones that you did pay attention to...because that's not random.

• Beating yourself up?

  • Kinda pointless after the fact.

• Acknowledging the learning and moving forward?

  • That's the ultimate goal...and so difficult to do when it's attached to failure.

• Reframing.

  • It's always about assessing the meaning you're giving to things.

20/20 hindsight...a gift or a curse?

It's up to you to make that call...but don't linger there...you may drop another ball...

Need some help? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

When everything’s important…nothing’s important…

Time to look in the mirror?

Is it time to look in the mirror?

Typically this is used when somebody needs to face who they are and not always in a good way. Maybe being asked to acknowledge some pitfalls...the things that might be going wrong, that they're not aware of.

This isn't about that...this is about acknowledging that all those things you see in others, that you appreciate and admire, are also in you...that's why you're noticing them. It's also time to accept the grace that you so readily give to others is something that you too are worthy of....those things. 

More and more as I expand my own openness and willingness to be vulnerable and ask for understanding and help, I am exposed to the raw humanity of others.

Their fears and shortcomings that they're desperately trying to hide or compensate for. The beautiful opening that happens when they feel seen and understood. When they realize that failures are expected and that's never the point. The point it is realizing this, acknowledging this, and then learning that these are the things that connect us, not divide us.

That the things you so willingly give grace to others for, are the very things that you too, deserve to receive grace for.

This is the mirror I am referring too. The mirror that is so necessary for you to look in to. To see that you too deserve the same grace you are giving others. Yes you do.


Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Think of one specific area in your life right now where you're struggling with the idea that everyone else has it figured out and you're the outlier.

Ask yourself.

• If someone told me they were struggling with this very same thing, how would I respond to them?

  • With compassion or judgement?

• What would I say to them?

  • Something harsh, or something kind?

• What kind of understanding would I offer them without hesitation?
  

  • What support would I give them?

This...this is the mirror for you. Look closely at it. What changes when you use this perspective...when you give yourself the same grace you so readily give to others?

Cut yourself some slack...everyone else is in the same kind of boat...

Need help "looking in your mirror"...  Contact me 

Cheers,

Ann

Time to look in the mirror?

Jumbled, humbled, and ready to quit?

Feeling jumbled, humbled, and ready to quit? This is me on the daily lately.

The learning process is so painful. We can forget that the steps we have to go through when we're learning something new are definitely not for the faint of heart. We have to accept that it's gonna be humbling. I don't know about you, but at this stage of the game, feeling humbled is well...humbling. Not knowing feels uncomfortable.

They say the first step in learning anything is unconscious incompetence but I  jumped right to step two...conscious incompetence...

The step where you know you don't know. All the gaps are visible...and it's like a constant flashlight shining on everything you don't know...yet another thing you don't have the answer to.

They say it'll get better and whoever they are, are right. As you move through the next steps of learning...eventually you'll look back and think, oh, I'm doing this now without giving it a thought. 

Kind of like learning to ride a bike or drive a car.

You're going to move through a process:

• Unconscious incompetence.

  • You don't even know what you don't know. 

  • You probably need training wheels.

• Conscious incompetence.

  • You become aware of what you don't know and what you need to learn.

  • Being aware of your balance, the fact that you're losing it, falling off the bike.

• Conscious competence.

  • You can do that "thing" but it still requires your conscious awareness.

  • You're staying on that bike...you're "there", you're doing it, but you still notice that you're doing it.

• Unconscious competence.

  • That moment when you realize you're doing the thing and you don't even realize it...it's become effortless.

  • The next thing you know, you're riding that bike like you've done it all your life.

Unfortunately you can't skip to the last step. It doesn't work that way...ugh.  There has to be some sort of discomfort in order to move through the steps.

Unconscious competence...

I'm still waiting for that step. Mind you, I write these about 5 weeks out, so perhaps by the time this comes out, I'll be there. Hmm, between you and me...I'm a little doubtful...and I definitely know I'll be closer. And that's okay, acceptance, accepting that the pain is part of the process, and it really can be physically uncomfortable to learn.



Are you ready?

Let's get to it...

Your challenge...

Are you new at something right now and feeling the pain of learning? It can be anything, a new sport, how to cook, anything.

Here's a reminder for you:

You will never grow if you don't get uncomfortable. It's a fact. Learning is one of those things...especially as you move through life. It can take more effort.

It's called "the comfort zone" for a reason, and if you want to keep evolving...you have to move away from it. It is in the discomfort that you grow.

You've got this.

Need some help figuring it out? Contact me and let's set up your FREE chemistry call.

Cheers,

Ann

Jumbled, humbled, and ready to quit?